Emergency C-Section Humor

The more you know about birth, the funnier this video is, I think.

Killing the toy kitchen — yay or nay?

Oh, woe the family who has too many toys. Cry you a river, right?

Well, that’s me. With a 2-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter, we have two completely different class of toys for those maturity levels, plus toys our eldest has outgrown that we keep around assuming the youngest will use them in a few years.

Alas, I’m in downsize mode now, trying to simplify and declutter our home.

My dilemma is this Melissa & Doug toy kitchen.

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If you give a mouse a cookie…

Here’s a new take on If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. It starts out funny and dips into OMG WTF at the end. You’ve been warned. It’s not for young eyes or ears.

Like Mom, Like Dad

Two black and white photos side-by-side showing dads cuddling their babies. The dads look very similar, definitely related, except one has a goatee and tattoos on his arm.

That photo is from a new blog, Like Mom Like Dad, by Ze Frank, which aims to get people to submit photos of themselves recreating photos of their parents.

Two great parenting/kid books about nothing and nobody

Images of the bookcovers of the two books.

Last year I reviewed the awesome 1957 memoir of childhood, Where did you go? Out. What did you do? Nothing by Robert Paul Smith.

Smith’s son Dan sent a note alerting us that his dad’s book has just been reprinted in paperback for under $10

Similarly, another of Smith’s books is also back in print, this time hardbound and also under $10: How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself. Now, how could you possibly refuse a title like that?

The second book delves into such pastimes as making a spool tank (wind-up toy), a button buzz-saw, handkerchief parachutes, and squeaking blades of grass. There are also some more interestingly dangerous activities you just can’t get in a store-bought kit, such as instructions for playing Mumblety-Peg with a Boy Scout knife and making a bow and arrow from a broken umbrella.

  1. Amazon: Where Did You Go? Out. What Did You Do? Nothing.
  2. Amazon: How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself.

Incidentally, a perk of having a spouse going back to school is that Amazon.com gives college students free ‘Prime’ accounts (free 2-day shipping, presumably for textbooks, but it’s good on everything). I should have my copies of the books in a few days, should anyone have questions.

Asperger’s Syndrome interview

This is an audio interview between a seventh grader with Asperger’s Syndrome and his mother. At one point he asks, “Did I turn out to be the son you wanted when I was born?”

The interview was for the book Mom: A Celebration of Mothers.

Bowties are neat

On the left there is an image of a flash card depicting a man in a suit tightening his bowtie.  On the right is a photo of the Doctor from Doctor Who, also wearing a bowtie.

At left, the flash card for "neat" under the consonant-vowel-consonant tip-alveolar assimilation section of the Kaufman Speech Praxis Treatment Kit for Children. At right, the Doctor from Doctor Who.

This is an inside joke, but I can’t resist. My 2-year-old son has verbal dyspraxia, a condition impairing his speech. One of the tools we use at home is the Kaufman Speech Praxis Treatment Kit, otherwise known as Kaufman Cards. The front of a card shows a picture. The backside lists several likely pronunciations that your child might utter when you prompt him to say the indicated word. A man wearing a bowtie? He’s “neat” of course.

The epic British family TV show Doctor Who debuted this year with a new writer/producer and new cast, along with new catch phrases for the lead character. The Doctor is sporting a bowtie now. In an almost overcompensating fashion, several times through the season the Doctor has explained his fashion sense by saying, “Bowties are cool.”

So, we can’t help but smile when the bowtie card comes up and our son says “neat.”

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Link Roundup #8,813

Mila’s Daydreams is a blog where baby Mila is photographed in a scene with props — while she is napping. The mom works in advertising, so something makes me suspect this is fodder for a book, but it’s pretty cool nonetheless.

Brazilian men swapped at birth — A nice story where two babies were mixed up at the hospital and 25 years later everyone is okay with it. Better than okay, in fact.

Inception baby video mash-up — The soundtrack to the Leonardo DiCaprio movie Inception makes any scene ominous/epic, even family videos. The linked page plays two Youtube videos side-by-side. Be sure to mute the video on the right.

How to build a fun cardboard fort

Photo of my son crawling through a cardboard tunnel with a red balloon under his chin. His sister is visible in the background sitting in a cardboard chamber.

My son crawling in a tunnel between two watermelon bin chambers. A glow-stick is taped above each tunnel entrance.

In this installment we discuss spending 8 to 24 hours converting a room in your home to an awesome cardboard fort. I’ve done it three times, for my daughter’s 3rd, 5th and 6th birthdays.

Here we go.

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World’s worst baby name generator

Thanks BabyZone. Click the “girl names” or “boy names” buttons. For added fun, click “boy or girl names” and make it a gender-guessing game. Click your browser’s reload/refresh button for more.

I like Ndirt for a boy and Sonar for a girl.

My best Craigslist ad ever

Photo of three cardboard lids composed as a giant rectangular room with an entrance at either end.
In my local baby/kids forum:

I have one cardboard room free for pick-up. You will need a truck and some method of securing it to the bed, otherwise it will fly. (I know from prior experience.)

It measures 82 inches long, 36 inches wide and is 36 inches tall. It is technically three cardboard lids secured by Mr. McGroovy’s box rivets. You may want to later secure it with packing or duct tape to make it more secure.

This was part of my child’s cardboard fort party and we are downsizing because we want a portion of our living room back. In your reply, please indicate when you can pick it up. Thanks.

A more detailed blog post is to follow. Unfortunately, the fort was too big to decently photograph.

Update: Thinga-reader Midge, unbeknownst to me a local reader, took the boxes.

Using fire as an educational tool

Photo of a house fully engulfed in flames, mostly destroyed, with a firefighter at far right training a stream of water on the blaze.

The best family-friendly event held this weekend in my community wasn’t found on any event calendar. It was in the news section of the newspapers under such tantalizing headlines as “Live fire training planned.”

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Advice needed: picking a boy’s name

Thinga-googler Ed is in a debate with his wife over what to name his unborn child if it comes out sporting a penis. If it has a vagina, it’ll get his mother-in-law’s name. But the penis problem has Ed vexed.

It seems some of the more interesting names you folks suggested in my Name My Baby Boy contest caused the webpages to pop up in his search results. Or maybe he saw the Top Eleven Names I Wish I Could Give my Baby Boy. I will forever regret not naming my son Flynn.

Naturally, Ed turned to me as a sympathetic, empathetic voice in his battle over little Jasper. I mean Rufus. Or maybe Roscoe. Oh, but Ed really likes Grover. And how about the timeless classic Ebenezer? Hannibal? Homer?

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A father’s message for abortion protestors

The Daddy Files is written by Aaron, a father with one son. He’s married, has two cats and one dog. They are trying to give birth to a second child.

Here is a progression of recent events:

1. All out of miracles — Their last ultrasound reveals Sirenomelia, Mermaid’s Syndrome, a fatal defect almost as rare as conjoined twins.

2. Make it stop — The doctor asks about funeral arrangements for their scheduled surgery.

3. Flying solo — Surprise, their state law requires their doctor to explain in intricate detail what will occur during their abortion.

4. About protesters — Abortion protesters make the worst day of their life a living hell (video included as the father confronts an antagonizer). Click for direct link to the video (shot sideways).

So if you’re against abortion, that’s cool. Don’t have one. But when you decide to protest and scare people and make total strangers feel horrible, then you become trash. Human garbage. Excrement. And it’s my sincere hope that more people will stand up to these bullies in a non-violent manner and let them know what they’re doing is not OK.

5. MJ speaks out — His wife comments on the issue.

I have always believed that out of bad comes good. As we were leaving yesterday I looked around and realized all the protesters were gone and a marked cop car was parked in front of the building. As we turned to go home I asked Aaron, “What did you do?” He looks at me and says with a straight face “I didn’t get arrested!”

As we drove home, Aaron told me what had happened and how he went over there and had a talk with them. I was overcome with pride that he was able to single-handedly have the cops called on him by the protesters and that the protesters had to clear out. As I settled in for the hour ride home I finally felt a sense of peace, because we were able to give someone the opportunity to get help, make an informed decision about their body and future without being taunted or bullied by the people who have no idea what was going on!

Update: 6. Goodbye Princess. And thank you. — Her name was Alexandra Christine Gouveia.

So we will think of another name if we have a daughter in the future, because we already had a daughter named Alex. And while we never got to meet her, we will love and remember her forever. And hopefully so will some of you.

Learning how to ride a bike

I don’t care. I laughed anyway.

That’s Simon Pegg (responsible for awesomely funny movies)  in the BBC sketch comedy Big Train. Don’t bother looking for it on the BBC America channel because that channel is in love with Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns. (Having one British actor in an American-made TV program qualifies Star Trek as an honorary BBC production, apparently.) Big Train is available on NetFlix though.