Thingamababy

Translated Dutch: “Mommy, (I want) that one, that one, that one. Please.”

Read the rest of this entry »

First an example of how ridiculous we have become, and then a suggestion on reinventing Santa as a tradition that survives into adulthood.

We’ve previously discussed commercial products and services such as text messages from Santa and Santa evidence kits. The following service tops them all:

For a fee, TheSantaVideo.com superimposes a video of Santa Claus on a photo of your living room as proof that Santa visited your home.  ICaughtSanta.com offers the same service, and also still photos.

Thinga-readers seem to agree that we want to prolong the magic of believing in Santa as long as possible, but elaborate deception is too much.

Here’s a question: What if the magic didn’t have to end?

Read the rest of this entry »

Behold Erwin the little patient from Sigikid. He’s a plush doll with a crooked smile and take-out organs. Measuring in at 16-inch (41cm) and machine washable, Erwin hides his special nature under a hospital patient gown. Lift up the gown to see Erwin’s nippleless rectangular torso.

Unzip his chest cavity to find six removable plush objects: lungs, a heart (Valentine shaped), intestines, liver, spleen and kidneys. The six count is a little deceptive because the kidneys include an attached bladder and the intestinal piece contains both small and large intestine and also the stomach and esophagus.

Oh, and my wife, who is a nurse, doesn’t know a cecum from a hole in the ground. Yep, I correctly identified the brown nodule on the lower intestine as the appendix.

Read the rest of this entry »

On this, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, let us reflect upon the mind of a toddler, steadfast in determination, resolute that he is defying an unjust law. As he acknowledges his coming punishment, his body goes limp and attempts to defy being picked up, flopping around like a wet noodle.

In that way, your child joins the ranks of Mohandas Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King, Jr.

This approach to conflict resolution brought about the Velvet Revolution, Orange Revolution, and Rose Revolution. Oh, how wonderful you might think, but civil disobedience also brought us the Tianamen Square massacre and the 2009 Iranian election crackdown.

So the question is, what kind of parent are you? Are you loving, kind and considerate in your guidance and rule making, or are you a dictatorial thug who bends children to your will?

It’s a tough question, so I’ll answer a question too. No, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this.

In any case, Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays aren’t big in our family, but I do believe MLK Day is a holiday that should not go by unnoticed as our children get older.

My 2- and 5-year-old have enjoyed watching Phoebe, a Channel Island Allen hummingbird in Orange County, California. She has been laying 4 to 5 clutches each year for several years.  Her last brood fledged back in early December and she’s already back on the nest.

I love that this camera streams so fluidly with ambient sounds audible. Phoebe offers four shows: beak to the camera, tail to the camera, preening, and vacation mode where you watch her eggs. Oh, and then there’s nighttime which is sort of not very exciting.

Phoebe is a California gal. Her species is limited to the coastline, from Santa Barbara north to a small portion of southern Oregon.

Many thanks to my visually-impaired Auntie M who keeps our family informed on the latest webcams.

This week will be slow posting-wise. Between our work schedules, I have an elementary school newsletter to produce and a million preschools to visit to let them know about our awesome school offering an awesome opportunity for preschoolers to visit an awesome portable planetarium on our awesome campus. If your child’s school isn’t awesome, you’re doing it wrong.

The Daily Show gets to the heart of our dissatisfaction with how crappy things have become. We want our childhood back. (Sorry, there’s a lame commercial at the start.)

Bonus catch: The 1930s woman featured in the video is Clara, the star of Great Depression Cooking, as seen in Baby Link Roundup #6,825.

Read the rest of this entry »

My family lives under that big blue square.

We had a 6.5 magnitude earthquake about 4:30 p.m. Saturday. We felt maybe 15 seconds of shaking. A few light precariously positioned non-breakable objects fell in our home. We were in the living room at the time, so we exited the front door and stood outside with neighbors for a few minutes. The power went out during the shaking and would stay out for four hours. Outside, we did a sniff test on our gas line.

My first reaction was to get the various locks on our door open. My wife’s first reaction was to ask our daughter, “Now what are you supposed to do in an earthquake?” @#$%^&*!  If you’re near a table you get everyone under it. If you’re standing by your front door, you get the hell out! Stand up, let’s go!

Read the rest of this entry »

5-year-old daughter: “He’s the best brother ever!”

Dad: “Why?”

“He’s exactly like me!”

“Well, no, you have girl parts.”

“I know something about boys that Momma knows too.”

“What?”

“He can go to the doctor and get surgery to become a girl.”

[raucous laughter from Mom in the next room]

Dad: “I hope he doesn’t need to have that surgery.”

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s here, the one baby contest you can’t ignore: The Regis & Kelly Beautiful Baby Search 2010. It has a $125,000 first prize and your kid appears on the cover of Parenting Magazine.

The Stakes:

1. Grand prize: $125,000 for 4-years of college education and your child on the cover of Parenting Magazine, Early Years edition.
2. Four runners up: $25,000 for 1-year of college education.
3. Ten semi-finalists: one year’s worth of Gerber’s Start Healthy, Stay Healthy food vouchers ($1,000 value).

Read the rest of this entry »

January 4, 2010: David “Chubbs” Stillman was a high school hero Monday night, and this is the sort of happy ending everyone needs to know about.

“Chubbs,” 18, is a senior at Kirkwood High School, who until Monday night had never played even one minute of high school basketball. He is a special-education student with more than a half-dozen learning disabilities who has spent the last four years behind the bench, always in the shadows, never in the spotlight, passing out cups of water, dry towels and high-fives to the Pioneers’ varsity team as their dedicated student manager.

But on Monday night, he was in a white Kirkwood uniform, wearing his favorite jersey number 23 — Michael Jordan’s number — and with the clock ticking down the final seconds in a game against Fox High, he settled into the far corner in front of his own bench, patted his hands together, planted his feet perfectly behind the 3-point line and waited for a perfect pass from senior guard Ahmad Hicks.

And ….

Read the whole story at the St. Louis Dispatch. Yep, go read it and come back.

Read the rest of this entry »

Disclaimer: “Au gratin” in my family is a euphemism for nakedness. Don’t ask me why or how; it just is.

When does your child’s nakedness become inappropriate to others?

You take plenty of photos of your infant naked. As your kid gets older, at what point do you stop taking bath time or other photos? At what point do you tell your kid to cover up his or her naked self around the home?

Our former neighbor had three daughters — ages 3, 5 and 8 — and thought nothing of slapping down a water slide on their front lawn during the summer with the kids running around naked. That struck me as inappropriate. At least do it in your back yard.

This question is in my brain because of Bob Cringely, a technology writer-TV host-documentarian-blogger-etc. He has shared a couple of his Christmas card photos on his blog… featuring his family almost-naked with the assistance of strategically placed props.

His 2008 card was pretty tame, with everyone standing on a boat. His wife wore a life vest, and the boat’s railing easily obscured his kids from the waist down.

His 2009 card is a bit more “out there.” Take a look (bottom of page). It seems he has trouble getting FedEx-Kinkos to print it.

I’m neither impressed nor repulsed by the cards. A few years ago our Christmas card showed my daughter nursing while holding a cookie, under the title “Milk and cookies.”

I suppose I’m presenting dueling issues. One is the age limit for innocence — when do we cover/hide body parts for propriety’s sake? The other is Cringely’s more narrow issue of family nakedness for the sake of art.

What’s your take on either issue?

With December’s gluttonous orgy of spending behind us, let’s look at a toy we cannot easily buy.

It’s the Extraterrestrial Minivan by Gospel House Handicrafts! Yep, it’s a wooden green minivan with a roof that pulls back for interior access. Four alien family members fit inside, along with two pieces of luggage.

Read the rest of this entry »

If your kids are old enough to understand the new year, but can’t stay awake, show them celebrations from around the world. It’s one of the side benefits of living in North America — being among the last to ring in the new year.

Update: Or show them the celebrations the day afterward.

Auckland, New Zealand:

Read the rest of this entry »

Photo Copyright AVing Visual News.

The Indoor Robot Baby Carriage by BMGK Co., Ltd. of Korea is like a giant Roomba for your baby. Except, your Robot Baby Carriage doesn’t clean your carpets, it just sends your kid on a voyage around your living room.

The specs for this ride are pretty intense:

Read the rest of this entry »

In the spirit of TMBG’s Here Comes Science, here are a few not-remotely-appropriate-for-a-toddler music videos from Bill Nye the Science Guy’s PBS TV show that aired from 1993 to 1997. Nye currently hosts the Stuff Happens show.

Huh? Yeah, it’s the holidays and this is my blog, so phbbbt!

Cheer’s TV Theme song:

Read the rest of this entry »