Cesarian Sections Sexy Again, Oh Yeah!

Two photos of a tan cheetah print undie revealing a red pad underneath.

As my regular readers know, I’m all about c-sections. I can’t get enough of ‘em. Boy, how I love me a good c-section.

That’s why I’m buying Czela Bellies CesareanWear undies for that extra bit of comfort I need while nursing my latest Pfannenstiel incision.

Or at least that’s my dream, right after I replace this pesky penis with a vagina, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and labia. Okay, maybe I don’t need labia, but a girl wants to look good, right?

Oh jeez, did I mention this blog was mentioned in a local news publication this week and some local folks will invariably look to see what’s here? Umm, okay, yeah, I’m a married heterosexual male, but that doesn’t play well when talking up underwear designed for women who just had a cesarean section.

Yeah, I think labia was the one. I just lost half my audience. No labia jokes. Come back in a few days when I’ll be discussing wholesome children’s books featuring female role models for my daughter.

Anyway… I could explain about how badass Julius Cesar was, being the first emperor to be cut from his mother’s belly, but that’s just a myth surrounding the etymology of the term. I like to think ‘cesarean’ refers to the repeated knife jabs he endured during his assassination on the floor of the Roman senate. Et tu, obstetrician?

But I digress.

Czela Bellies (pronounced chel-ah bellies) are specifically designed for recent c-section patients. They are made from ‘comfy stretch fabric,’ with padding in your ‘ouch area’ so you can resume wearing your normal clothing as soon as possible.

They’re a poly/spandex blend with cotton poly chenille lining and a cotton insert. They retail for $25 to $35, depending on whether you want the lowly sherbert floral or the more exotic spicy Moroccan paisley panty prints. There are 10 designs in total.

Red is an awesome color choice for the pad covering a surgical scar, by the way.

One report cites the inspiration for c-section panties being the inventor’s disgust at wearing “granny panties” after her own c-section. That’s why she designed boy-short-style undies in sexy prints. You don’t want to turn off the father of your baby by wearing gross grandma underpants. You draw him in and sex it up with a sassy cheetah print while concurrently experiencing excruciating abdominal pain from a healing surgical incision.


5 Responses to “Cesarian Sections Sexy Again, Oh Yeah!”

  1. silver says:

    Boy shorts are horrible for putting pads in. And after giving birth, one needs to wear pads, tampons are a ‘no-no’ for all the bleeding. Maybe for use after bleeding stops but when the scar is still tender?

    February 3rd, 2011 at 6:51 am

  2. RookieMom Whitney says:

    Funny funny.

    I just got a pitch for sexy undies for c-section with an emphasis on the sexy part. I believe it had a crotchless situation designed to allow you to leave the garment on during sex so as not to reveal the yucky scar/excess skin your c-section had earned you. (So we’re not talking first 6 weeks here.)

    As for those marketing pictures above: always love a flat-bellied model for a postpartum product. Makes us feel so … fat/ashamed/embarassed/ugly/etc

    February 3rd, 2011 at 11:18 pm

  3. Kimberly says:

    I agree with the above comment snarking on the super skinny postpartum model… I mean at least have a pregnant belly modeling it.

    However I really don’t have a snark on the product, maybe I should read the product description more.

    I just had a hysterectomy and am a young mother of two small children… I am in desperate need of something like this. My surgery was just two weeks ago and I HATE the granny panties my mother just bought for me. I am wearing my boy shorts undies and find them WAY more comfortable, even though they do bug my incision some.

    I am for sure willing to try them.

    February 4th, 2011 at 12:12 am

  4. Nadia says:

    If I ever give birth, I will not resume wearing normal clothing as soon as possible. I might get out of my pyjamas before my children graduate, but then again I might not.

    February 10th, 2011 at 5:09 am

  5. Amber says:

    I would have killed for these 5 months ago. I had twins via csection and even with my “big” undies I bought for the pregnancy the elastic fell right over the scar. I mutilated the undies by just cutting that part of the elastic out, then I used my belly band folded over a couple of times to basically do the same thing as this does.

    How WOULD you fold wings over in boyshorts? I gotta imagine that part of it is less than fantastic for most post-partum women.

    February 22nd, 2011 at 5:36 pm

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