Kimberly-Clark launches war on children

Image of Scott Naturals toiler paper container advertising tube-free toilet paper rolls.

Kimberly-Clark is crapping on kids. Who?  The maker of Scott toilet paper.

As if toilet paper was a lingering question, something not yet perfect, they’ve gone and killed the toiler paper roll. They’ve decided it’s just not needed. In their pursuit to save money and put less stuff in landfills they figure, who is going to care? Ahh, we’ll just chuck it.

And with this act, they’ve destroyed binoculars, bowling pins, loudspeakers, bracelets, rocket ships, Hot Wheels car parks, dolls, hamster toys, puppets, large drinking straws, fishing line weights, gold prospecting pans, surgical instruments, impromptu skin grafts, fireplace kindling, perpetual motion machines, cold fusion generators and all the other things kids make and use today using toilet paper roll technology.

When my grandchildren look back and wonder where it all went wrong, I want them to find this blog post. This is Grandpa, reaching out from beyond the grave, to say, I told you so.


12 Responses to “Kimberly-Clark launches war on children”

  1. Rebekah says:

    That is just evil!

    October 27th, 2010 at 9:34 am

  2. Inki says:

    I’m going to have to take the other side here. Not everybody has kids the right age.
    If you want the rolls, then just buy a different brand! I think it’s great they’re trying to do something about waste.

    October 27th, 2010 at 10:32 am

  3. AJ says:

    So that you don’t think me an ogre, I don’t oppose reducing landfills. My mother was a vermiculture expert and I spent some time working at a state agency whose sole purpose was to promote waste prevention.

    I do however plan to get my daughter in on the ground floor of a new cardboard “craft tube” manufacturing business. Okay, not really.

    October 27th, 2010 at 11:21 am

  4. Lady in a Smalltown says:

    I was actually just thinking about this last week. Our hospital uses rolls that have small centers and no tube. I was thinking how smart that was.

    And then yesterday I threw out tubes in each bathroom and wondered how many I would use to craft with my kids in the next few years and wondered if I should start saving them now.

    October 27th, 2010 at 5:12 pm

  5. Observer says:

    while i see the many craft uses for tubes as a source of creativity, i have to say that i like the idea of not having the tube in the middle. it makes changing the roll easier because you are able to use two hands. another thing, how long does a cardboard tube creation last? maybe a few days at best before it is thrown out anyways.

    October 27th, 2010 at 6:44 pm

  6. JMo says:

    long live the paper towel tube!

    October 28th, 2010 at 10:53 am

  7. gertie says:

    I had the same horrified reaction when I saw this product, the same day I had assigned 120 fifth graders to bring in tp tubes for next week’s constellation scopes.

    “But, what if they succeed, and next year, next year there are no toilet paper tubes!?!?!?!”

    October 28th, 2010 at 8:28 pm

  8. Rebekah says:

    And what about toy safety and choking hazards? We are always told that if a toy fits inside a toilet paper roll it is a choking hazard for little ones. How will we measure?

    Oh, the humanity!!

    (Yes, I am being over dramatic, but still I hate the idea that tp cardboard rolls could disappear. They are a childhood favorite.)

    I hope they don’t do away with paper towel tubes! How will kids have “sword” fights?

    October 30th, 2010 at 9:17 am

  9. My Boaz's Ruth says:

    Sticks, Rebekah. Before cardboard tubes were around, kids managed. They will manage after they go away as well

    November 1st, 2010 at 5:56 am

  10. Dani says:

    I know, I immediately thought of our daycare and the myriad of goodies that have been created out of those cardboard rolls. I’ll be sticking to the ones with tubes for as long as I can.

    November 2nd, 2010 at 2:02 pm

  11. Penguinmommy says:

    I concur, but, because I feel someone must play devil’s advocate I shall repeat what a Day Care Mom once told me:

    “You shouldn’t use those rolls for stuff. The person who take the roll off has 1. Just used the last bits of paper for something unsavory and 2. Not washed their hands yet.”

    I am too lazy to remove the roll post usage, right then and there, but I do see the point here as far as possible occasional contamination during mass collections.

    ::I’m still giggling at how honestly concerned she was::

    November 3rd, 2010 at 1:04 pm

  12. Kate says:

    It’s nice for each company to do what they can.

    However, toilet paper rolls aren’t just good for children, they are also good for women who have just had babies. Tubes are perfect for directing the flow of urine into the toilet so that it doesn’t touch sensitive parts.

    Also, I’m much more concerned about disposable diapers in landfills. At least the cardboard will degrade during our lifetime.

    November 3rd, 2010 at 4:39 pm

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