A father’s message for abortion protestors

The Daddy Files is written by Aaron, a father with one son. He’s married, has two cats and one dog. They are trying to give birth to a second child.

Here is a progression of recent events:

1. All out of miracles — Their last ultrasound reveals Sirenomelia, Mermaid’s Syndrome, a fatal defect almost as rare as conjoined twins.

2. Make it stop — The doctor asks about funeral arrangements for their scheduled surgery.

3. Flying solo — Surprise, their state law requires their doctor to explain in intricate detail what will occur during their abortion.

4. About protesters — Abortion protesters make the worst day of their life a living hell (video included as the father confronts an antagonizer). Click for direct link to the video (shot sideways).

So if you’re against abortion, that’s cool. Don’t have one. But when you decide to protest and scare people and make total strangers feel horrible, then you become trash. Human garbage. Excrement. And it’s my sincere hope that more people will stand up to these bullies in a non-violent manner and let them know what they’re doing is not OK.

5. MJ speaks out — His wife comments on the issue.

I have always believed that out of bad comes good. As we were leaving yesterday I looked around and realized all the protesters were gone and a marked cop car was parked in front of the building. As we turned to go home I asked Aaron, “What did you do?” He looks at me and says with a straight face “I didn’t get arrested!”

As we drove home, Aaron told me what had happened and how he went over there and had a talk with them. I was overcome with pride that he was able to single-handedly have the cops called on him by the protesters and that the protesters had to clear out. As I settled in for the hour ride home I finally felt a sense of peace, because we were able to give someone the opportunity to get help, make an informed decision about their body and future without being taunted or bullied by the people who have no idea what was going on!

Update: 6. Goodbye Princess. And thank you. — Her name was Alexandra Christine Gouveia.

So we will think of another name if we have a daughter in the future, because we already had a daughter named Alex. And while we never got to meet her, we will love and remember her forever. And hopefully so will some of you.

Comments

11 Responses to “A father’s message for abortion protestors”

  1. Auntie M says:

    Thank you, dear AJ, thank you for your so strong support for this couple and others like them who have such difficult decisions to make and such public protesters to face.

    July 15th, 2010 at 11:11 am

  2. Kimberly says:

    The comment Aaron made about the protesters is one of the most profound things I’ve read about it.

    My heart goes out to this family.

    July 15th, 2010 at 4:26 pm

  3. Daddy Files says:

    Thank you so much for devoting an entire post to our story. I never imagined it would blow up like this but I guess the silver lining to our ordeal is that more people can see exactly how cowardly these protesters are.

    Thanks again!

    July 15th, 2010 at 4:27 pm

  4. observer says:

    i am sorry for the family that had to go through this, but i am strongly against abortion. while they made a decision about their future, they lost out on the many blessings they would have had by having the baby. it is a hard thing to hear that your baby that you hoped and prayed for is not going to live for very long, in the ammount of time you do have with the child, you become attached, and love them very much, no matter what they look like or how long they live. i am sorry those protesters made the heart ache more unbearable, but the right to life should not stem from a person’s decision about who should live or die.

    July 16th, 2010 at 2:31 pm

  5. Daddy Files says:

    observer: Time with the child? Our baby was almost dead when we had the procedure. Another few days & my wife would’ve had to deliver a stillborn baby naturally. This is a fatal fetal defect. There was no life possible for this child.

    Don’t tell me I’m missing out on thing. I have a 2 year old already. This baby was supposed to complete our family. Abortion, while incomprehensible to you, was a medical necessity. I’m not about to risk added injury to my wife by doing nothing simply to avoid the word abortion.

    Do you even read the stuff you’re spewing??

    July 17th, 2010 at 4:54 am

  6. Bh says:

    Observer, you are showing just how brain dead a lot of people on your side of this discussion are. My wife and I went through a similar story, knowing the baby would never have functioning kidneys and would not live long if at all (and that my wife’s health would be in danger as well) and had to make the same decision (not that there is much of a decision to be made) 5 months in. Your idea that there is some realistic choice to be made is pure idiocy. Come back to planet earth, think about things a bit more and have some compassion.

    To Daddy Files, just over a year later and we’re 7 months along with a new pregnancy and all is well so far. Good luck to you.

    July 17th, 2010 at 12:25 pm

  7. AJ says:

    Having a wife who is an OB nurse, I can attest that whether you have an abortion or give birth to a dead baby, it is traumatizing. I would think it’s far more traumatizing to know you are carrying your dead baby inside you… for months. There is also a risk of infection for the mother.

    July 17th, 2010 at 5:00 pm

  8. NC Mommy says:

    My heart goes out to you and your wife. What a painful experience that must have been. I can’t imagine dealing with that kind of grief and loss, and then yelled at for it.
    I’ve always found the insensitivity of abortion protesters appalling. If you don’t like the law, take it up with those who pass legislation. Harassing strangers whom you know nothing about is obscene and self-indulgent.

    July 17th, 2010 at 5:12 pm

  9. Shannon says:

    Thank you AJ for posting and bringing this to light for me, since I haven’t followed Daddy Files’ blog before now.

    And thank you Daddy Files for blogging about your experience. My heart goes out to you and your family for what you’re going through. I’m sure it is not easy to put your thoughts and feelings about it out there on the web, but I am grateful that you have.

    July 19th, 2010 at 2:26 pm

  10. kristina says:

    I am a long time reader (since a search for a blow up toddler bed several years ago). Thank you for this story. We went through something similar 3 years ago (our daughter had anencephaly). We also went on to have a healthy baby several weeks before your son was born. I have never been ashamed of our decision, and abortion will stop being a black and white issue when others are brave enough to come forward and tell their heartbreaking stories. I am so sorry to Daddy Files and his family for their loss.

    July 19th, 2010 at 6:02 pm

  11. Marketing Mommy says:

    AJ, thank for for bringing these posts to our attention.

    Daddy Files, I’m impressed by your bravery. On behalf of all of the women and couples who are facing one of the hardest days of their lives, thank you for standing up and refusing to be shamed by the idiots outside of the abortion clinics.

    I applaud the recent trend toward moving abortion procedures back into hospitals. I don’t think anyone would stand for their gruesome pictures and inconsiderate remarks if that was the case.

    July 20th, 2010 at 8:50 am