Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
You might be a bad parent if…
You might be a bad parent if… you pay for your child to receive text messages from Santa Claus.
Strike that. You are a bad parent if your child is young enough to believe in Santa and you’ve given her a cell phone.
Blah blah blah about whatever exception you want to draw to explain why your (probably under) 8-year-old needs a cell phone. How ever did we survive our own childhood without technology? Yes, that’s right, I’m feeling snippy and this is me dismissing you out-of-hand.
My wife says… not enough fiber today.
Behold the modern era:
SantaTextedMe.com — Choose one of three texting templates ($3) to be sent to your child, or have Santa make a voice call ($4).
“Hey Brandon! My elves tell me you have been good this year! I’ll be coming thru Beverly Hills soon, so make sure to get to bed on time! Merry Christmas – Santa”
TextSanta.net — $5.49 for 3 text messages on a schedule of your choosing.
“Brandon, would have texted you sooner, but silly Rudolph ate my cell phone. Hope your fish Kelly is well. Can’t wait to bring you your gifts. Love, Santa.”
OfficialSantaMail.com — Varying packages from the UK: ‘small talk’ where Santa just chats, ‘test flight’ where Santa jokes with you, or ‘Christmas Eve Tracker’ where Santa takes time out from delivering presents to send your kid messages 3 times that night.
“From Santa. Hi Brandon. It’s snowing here at the North Pole. I hope it’s warm in Beverly Hills. How’s your dog Kelly? Better go. We’re about to run a test flight.”
Missing from these websites is the most obvious service — Santa sending you his photo on your cell phone. Or a photo Rudolph. Or oops, a candid shot of Mrs. Claus.
Maybe Santa can send you a gift of a game or movie on your cell phone and toss some ringtones in your virtual stocking so he doesn’t have to visit you at all. Merry Christmas.