Thingamababy

Bibs aren’t just for infants with poor motor skills anymore. We adults can wear bibs too, and I don’t mean just when we’re dining at Red Lobster. Now we can wear bibs while downing Whoppers and Big Macs.

There is a bib for today’s adult, a bib to protect us while we eat alone in the parking lot outside our favorite fast food restaurant and while we stuff fries in our mouth while driving on the interstate. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.

In the olden days, a guy might have just pilfered a handful of toilet seat covers from the McDonald’s restroom, tossed one around his neck and stashed the rest in the glove compartment for future lunchtime escapades. But no more!

A businessman with a very large dry cleaning bill thought, there must be a better way!

“BibsToGo are oversized, absorbent, waterproof, disposable and recyclable bibs that slip over the head and rip off easily. Napkins did not adequately cover [the guy who invented BibsToGo], and like most professionals, he found himself spending up to $1,000 a year on dry cleaning bills to remove stains. There are over 300,000 fast food restaurants in the US and eating and drinking while traveling is increasing. Multi-tasking can lead to making a mess of one’s self. BibsToGo.com wants to help people show up neat, as first impressions mean more now than ever before.”

For the low, low price of $5.99 and $3.99 shipping per box you can net yourself 12 burger bibs.

Before you shoot back at me saying, “But $10 is too expensive. We’re in a recession!”, hey, hey, hey… don’t let that get you down. BibsToGo also work in Taco Bell parking lots.

In fact, BibsToGo work anywhere. They are truly portable. Take them to the parking lots of any of the following finer dining establishments:

1. A&W Restaurants
2. Amigos/Kings Classic
3. Andy’s Frozen Custard
4. Arby’s
5. Arctic Circle Restaurants
6. Arthur Treacher’s
7. Back Yard Burgers
8. Baja Fresh
9. Baker’s Drive-thru
10. Bess Eaton Donuts
11. Big Apple Bagels
12. Big Boy
13. Biscuitville
14. Blake’s Lotaburger
15. Blimpie
16. Bojangles’
17. Boston Market
18. Burger King
19. Braum’s
20. Brown’s Chicken & Pasta
21. Bruster’s
22. Burger Street
23. Burgerville
24. Cafe Rio
25. California Pizza Kitchen
26. Captain D’s
27. Carl’s Jr.
28. Charley’s Grilled Subs
29. Cassano’s Pizza King
30. Checkers (also called Rally’s Drive-In)
31. Cheeburger Cheeburger
32. Chick-fil-A
33. Chicken Express
34. Chinese Gourmet Express
35. Chipotle Mexican Grill
36. Chuck E. Cheese’s
37. Church’s Chicken
38. CiCi’s Pizza
39. Cluck-U Chicken
40. Cold Stone Creamery
41. Cook Out
42. Cracker Barrel
43. Crown Burgers
44. Crown Fried Chicken
45. Culver’s
46. Dairy Queen
47. Del Taco
48. Denny’s
49. Dick’s Drive-In
50. Dog n Suds
51. Domino’s Pizza
52. Donatos Pizza
53. Dunkin’ Donuts
54. Einstein Bros. Bagels
55. El Pollo Loco
56. Erbert & Gerbert’s
57. Fatburger
58. Fazoli’s
59. Firehouse Subs
60. Five Guys
61. Fosters Freeze
62. Freddy’s Frozen Custard
63. Friendly’s
64. Godfather’s Pizza
65. Gold Star Chili
66. Golden Spoon
67. Good Times Burgers & Frozen Custard
68. Grandy’s
69. Gray’s Papaya
70. Green Burrito
71. Griff’s Hamburgers
72. Halo Burger
73. Hamburger Station
74. Happy Joe’s
75. Hardee’s
76. Harold’s Chicken Shack
77. Hogi Yogi
78. Honey Dew Donuts
79. Hot Dog on a Stick
80. Hot ‘n Now
81. Huddle House
82. IHOP
83. In-N-Out Burger
84. Ivar’s
85. Jack in the Box
86. Jack’s Hamburgers
87. Juan Pollo
88. Jerry’s Subs & Pizza
89. Jersey Mike’s
90. Jimboy’s Tacos
91. Jimmy John’s
92. Johnny Rockets
93. Kennedy Fried Chicken
94. Kenny Rogers Roasters
95. KFC
96. Kewpee
97. Kopp’s Frozen Custard
98. Krispy Kreme
99. Krystal
100. LaMar’s Donuts
101. Larry’s Giant Subs
102. Lenny’s Sub Shop
103. Little Caesar’s
104. Long John Silver’s
105. Lyon’s
106. Maid-Rite
107. Manchu Wok
108. McDonald’s
109. Meadows Frozen Custard
110. Mellow Mushroom
111. Mighty Taco
112. Milio’s Sandwiches
113. Milo’s Hamburgers
114. Moe’s Southwest Grill
115. Mrs. Winner’s Chicken & Biscuits
116. Nathan’s Famous
117. Nedick’s
118. Noodles and Company
119. Nu-Way Weiners
120. Nu Way Cafe
121. The Original Hamburger Stand with Der Wienerschnitzel and Tastee-Freez
122. Original Tommy’s
123. Pal’s Sudden Service
124. Pancheros
125. Panda Express
126. Panera Bread
127. Papa Gino’s
128. Papa John’s
129. Papa Murphy’s
130. Penn Station
131. Peter Piper Pizza
132. Petro’s
133. Pick Up Stix
134. Pioneer Chicken
135. Pizza Hut
136. Pizza Patron
137. Pizza Ranch
138. Pollo Tropical
139. Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits
140. Portillo’s Restaurants
141. Port of Subs
142. Qdoba
143. Quiznos
144. Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers
145. Rally’s
146. Ranch 1
147. Rax Restaurants
148. Red Burrito
149. Red Robin
150. Rocky Rococo
151. Round Table Pizza
152. Roy Rogers Family Restaurants
153. Rubio’s
154. Ruby Tuesday
155. Runza
156. Sbarro
157. Schlotzsky’s
158. Shakey’s Pizza
159. Sheetz
160. Skipper’s
161. Skyline Chili
162. Sonic Drive-In
163. Spangles
164. Spicy Pickle
165. Steak Escape
166. Stewart’s Drive-In
167. Submarina
168. Subway
169. Taco Bell
170. Taco Bueno
171. Taco Cabana
172. Taco del Mar
173. Taco John’s
174. Taco Mayo
175. Taco Tico
176. Taco Time
177. Tastee-Freez
178. Ted’s Hot Dogs
179. Texadelphia
180. The Hat
181. The Whole Donut
182. Tijuana Flats
183. Togo’s Eateries
184. Tudor’s Biscuit World
185. The Varsity
186. Waffle House
187. Wendy’s
188. Wetzel’s Pretzels
189. Whataburger
190. White Castle
191. Wienerschnitzel
192. Winchell’s Donuts
193. WingStreet
194. Winsteads
195. Woody’s Chicago Style
196. Yello Sub
197. Yum-Yum Donuts
198. Zaxby’s

Thank you Wikipedia!

Ohhhh, okay, time for a reality check. Not only are we in a global recession, but everyone here is a parent. That means every last dime of ours goes toward clothing and feeding our kids and buying them organic free-trade wooden toys. We still can’t afford $10 for 12 bibs, not to mention these are adult-size bibs that don’t come in 12- and 18-month sizes, let alone 2T, 3T, 4T or 5T.

There is one glimmer of hope though. The BibsToGo inventor notes on his website that these bibs are prime real estate for company logos. It’s only a matter of time before McDonald’s, Burger King and the rest of their brethren begin offering complimentary bibs.

“Would you like ketchup? Need a drink tray? How about a bib? Thank you, come again!”

Monday, November 9th, 2009Travel