You might be a pretentious parent if…

You might be a pretentious parent if… you buy your child this lovely artwork.

A canvas poster consisting of a 10 by 10 grid of colored circles with red at the top and each successive row completing a rainbow effect. Several words are presented over the circles in crossword style. They read: COLLIN. TIME OUT.

Step 1. Pay $85 for the small 12″x12″, or $135 for the big 12″x18″ canvas artwork.

Step 2. Have the masterpiece customized with your child’s name at no extra charge.

Step 3. Send Junior to his time-out introspection zone.

Yes, it’s the Time Out Dots Canvas Wall Art. You are a parent that cares enough to surround your kid with the very best when he’s at his very worst.

When you have your second trophy child, establish a second time-out area with a second canvas wall hanging. Better yet, convert two of your guest rooms to time-out contemplation retreats.

And as the years pass and time-outs fade away in favor of revoking the keys to BMWs, donate your personalized penalty posters to a thrift shop so that some other young Portia and Winston might know the solace of art in trying times.

Me? I send my daughter to her room and tell her to stay there until she’s ready to not scream talk.

[link via Droolicious]


5 Responses to “You might be a pretentious parent if…”

  1. Sarah says:

    LOL! Love your commentary on this!

    August 3rd, 2009 at 5:17 am

  2. Angelique says:

    doood…$85 for 5 minutes of work on photoshop? Why-n-th’hell didn’t I think of that?

    August 3rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm

  3. grouchy mama says:

    My one year old is starting to throw “on-the-floor” fits. But, I don’t think this is for us. We’ll wait it out patiently. “I know you’re frustrated because ….” Conversation with my child will do more than this artwork.

    Not that I don’t WISH I had something easier…..

    August 3rd, 2009 at 3:07 pm

  4. F. says:

    AJ’s acerbic wit made my day, but I have to admit I was mesmerized by the dots and want one with my name on it. Maybe I should get make a time-out corner for myself?

    August 3rd, 2009 at 7:08 pm

  5. JT says:

    I think I would get a time out from my hubby for spending that much money on such an absurd piece of (I guess it’s supposed to be art-work with a purpose?) junk.

    August 4th, 2009 at 2:39 pm