Monday, March 2nd, 2009
Night 4: Tooth Fairy Deception
Since then, you haven’t missed anything. That week in November our entire family got horribly sick and 4-year-old Little Miss just plum forgot about the grand deception of faeriedom.
The next week she resumed operations, concluding she could reasonably fool the Tooth Fairy using white beans we picked up at a farmer’s market. But the fairy had lost her steam catching up to a week’s worth deferred work, forgetting night after night to visit our home.
I explained that the fairy probably knew we had been sick and was staying away for a while… because what would happen if she became ill and couldn’t pay kids around the world for their teeth? Global economic crisis, that’s what.
The problem is, once the Tooth Fairy starts slacking, it’s really easy for her keep slacking. Real easy.
After a while, Little Miss forgot about the whole thing… until yesterday.
She showed me a handwritten phonetically-spelled note with a folded and taped piece of red paper attached. Inside the red package, she explained, was a tiny white pebble to fool the Tooth Fairy.
The note read:
“If you lok in this pakig you wil se a tooth. From Little Miss.”
She claims she found the rock in a party favor bag from a birthday party she attended two weeks ago. I think it more likely she found it on the street months ago and recently rediscovered it in her coat pocket. The birthday thing is a cover story because she knows I don’t like her picking up stuff on the street and shoving it into her pockets.
A more sinister scenario is that she is in cahoots with her 5-year-old friend who originally sparked the idea of fooling the fairy. A hypothesis: when Little Miss slept over at Miss Devious’ home last weekend, they hatched a plan to use the same pebble that Miss Devious had successful used to fool the fairy. If that sounds too complex a plan for 4- and 5-year-olds, no, sorry, it’s not. I’ll have to share some of their other failed plans sometime (the plans always involve extending playtime or initiating a sleepover).
I added some color and printed it 2-inches-wide because I figure the Tooth Fairy doesn’t skimp on her coinage. It was late and sleep sounded good, so the coin’s backside is simply the number one. The finished coin is glued to a piece of cardboard.
The Tooth Fairy’s handwritten response letter reads:
“Dear Little Miss
Thank you for the beautiful tooth! Use this coin to buy candy and toys in Fairy Land.
Just kidding. You need wings to visit Fairy Land.
You cannot fool me! From: The Tooth Fairy”
In previous correspondence the Fairy signed her letters “Love,” but she has since adopted Little Miss’ own method of signing documents with “From.”
What remains to be seen is whether this coin fosters more dialogue with the Tooth Fairy, or if Little Miss will cut her losses and be happy with a toy coin. I’ll post a brief update here later today.
Update: Well, I should have seen this coming. She likes the coin, considers her ruse a success and she’s on board for more trickery. I don’t know yet whether she’s fasttracking this or will spend some time enjoying her spoils. But, I’m approaching this situation like a chess game now. I have two moves planned out, hopefully to yield a checkmate.