Thursday, February 5th, 2009
Judgment-Free Parenting by Computer
Parenting is a snap with the right technology. Here are three gadgets that remind or tell you what to do, and one that does it for you.
Goodnight Sleep Trainer by 4 Moms is a substitute for reading a book on the cry-it-out Ferber method of getting a baby to sleep. Intended for infants 3 months and up, this hand-held gadget contains a progressive timer that tells you how long to wait before comforting your baby and then letting him cry some more (aka learning to self-soothe).
- Push the “down to sleep” button.
- Push “Crying” when baby cries, initiating the progressive timer.
- When timer finishes, comfort baby, then push “Done checking” to initiate a new timer.
- Stop the timer when the baby falls asleep.
- Push “up to play” when sleep time is over.
- Connect to the Internet to track your data collection. Fascinated? Read the manual [PDF].
Don’t feel bad about your beet-red sweat-drenched baby manically screaming. The machine says it’s not time yet to intervene.
WhyCry Baby Crying Analyzer tells you why your baby is crying. Plunk this beauty next to your crying baby and after 20 seconds the icon of a baby’s face lights up to indicate the baby is one of the following:
How do we know the machine is correct? Trust in the company’s assurance that it’s been clinically tested to be 90% reliable. I trust that they probably genetically engineered an infant who could speak straight from birth in order to tell us whether he really was crying because he was bored.
Hey, now you can spend even more time reading blogs, twittering and thumbing your BlackBerry. Put out of your mind the antiquated notion of bonding with your baby and the whacky idea that you could know your baby’s emotional state and needs long before he even cries. Now you can live your life just as you did before you became a parent, pausing occasionally to service your baby unit.
ITZBEEN by Coast Innovations is a baby care timer for making obsolete your wrist watch and the dry erase board on your refrigerator. This hand-held gadget tracks how much time has passed since your baby last slept, fed or had its diaper changed. A bonus timer can be used for medications or whatnot, and a nursing reminder marks which boob was suckled last. An optional alarm can be set for each timer.
I especially like the idea of maximizing the time my baby boy spends stewing in a dirty diaper. I’ll select an arbitrary number of times I want to change a diaper every day, divide by 24 hours and shazaam, parenting just got a whole lot easier. YES!
Sadly, the ITZBEEN lacks the all-important track-data-on-the-Internet option.Â I remember reading about an up-and-coming competing baby care timer that does offer web tracking. If you know the name, please drop me a note.
Suima Crib puts a price on the personal attention you give your baby at nap time, about $4,500 to $5,500. Made at the Kyuushuu University in Japan, the crib is only available in Nippon at the moment.
This automated crib has a sensor that detects when your infant is crying. The entire crib then rocks back and forth every 1.8 seconds in a gentle swaying motion. Don’t worry Little One. Suima Crib loves you.
[Link via Thinga-reader Andrew Fields.]
Cat’s in the Cradle anyone?