Baby Autograph Keepsake Deathmatch

Photo of a diaper imprinted with the phrase It's a Girl and pink footprints. Also shown are stylized pieces of confetti and a pen labeled Honey Bunz.

In the left corner we have the Birth Signz Autograph Diaper Kit by Honey Bunz Diapers. This diaper is imprinted with the phrase “It’s a girl” or “It’s a boy,” and packaged with a pen, confetti, acid-free bag and a bag seal.

Step 1. Give birth.

Step 2. Have hospital guests sign the diaper with your specially formulated non-fading non-bleeding pen that won’t tear the diaper fabric.

Step 3. Place the diaper in your archival-quality keepsake bag. Insert the confetti for added festiveness.

Step 4. “Years later, your baby will know just how special he or she was to so many people.”

Photo of a white teddy bear wearing a pink undergarment and a rainbow tie around its neck. The names of various people can be seen in cursive ink on the bear's various body parts.

In the right corner we have the Baby Shower Autograph Bear by a company so proud I wasn’t able to track down its name. It’s a hairless albino teddy bear with a pink or blue diaper bearing the message, “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!”

Despite its name implying a baby shower tie-in, you could bring it to the hospital.

If it were my brainchild, I’d have used a gender-neutral color for the diaper and simply made the bear anatomically correct. Oh well.

Step 1. Give birth.

Step 2. Have hospital guests sign their names with a Sharpie.

Step 3. Place the bear into a gallon Ziploc bag, or if the bag is too small, place the bear into a plastic Safeway shopping bag and staple the bag closed. For added festiveness, throw in some cut up squares from last Sunday’s comics section.

Step 4. Years later, your baby will know how special he or she was to so many people whom you no longer speak to because they moved away or you changed jobs or you stopped speaking to them because they had really dull personalities.

Now, I know I titled this article a deathmatch, but in reality, who wants to see a bear and a diaper fight? The bear will win every time, right? Feel free to weigh in with your perspective.

What other precious baby autograph keepsakes are just waiting to be invented?

  • Baby’s First Spit-up (sign a commemorative vial).
  • Baby’s First Mucuous (vial again, super easy to do if you own a Nosefrida)
  • Baby Shower Belly Autograph Kit (attendees sign their names to mom’s belly, then a toll-free number is called and a tattoo artist is dispatched to your home to immortalize their names).
  • Any others?

Comments

7 Responses to “Baby Autograph Keepsake Deathmatch”

  1. Stephanie says:

    I like the diaper idea. If I had that, I probably would have had all of the nurses that took care of me and Sadie sign it. I remember them as being a huge part of my birth experience.

    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:01 am

  2. Sara says:

    I am not really sentimental enough to do anything of that kind. I do keep a family scrapbook…but pretty much anything that doesn’t fit into a scrapbook I don’t bother saving. But, if I were forced to choose one, I would say that the bear is better…at least the little one can play with it.

    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:03 pm

  3. Amber says:

    I’m sorry, but both of those are kind of weird. Why not just have those people sign a page in the kid’s baby book?

    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:00 pm

  4. jen says:

    Yeah, I kind of like the diaper, but seriously? WHere on earth are you going to put every tiny thing that you want to save like that? In a box, in the garage, where the water will damage it and the mice will eat it and then when your child gets old enough, they’ll ask for the box and have to go to years of therapy when they realize it’s been neglected and destroyed.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 7:08 am

  5. MIdge says:

    So, is it just me that’s bugged by the Z on the end of hunny bunz, birth signz ? Intentional misspellings bug me.
    Plus, why would I want to keep a diaper??
    At least they don’t suggest you use it, then save it. Yuk.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 7:45 am

  6. Dorrie says:

    I’ve seen those bears before. By the time everyone is done signing them, the poor thing is full of inky finger prints and hand oils, the fabric doesn’t age well at all, and they just end up looking tacky. The diaper idea seems like a creatieve and unique way to record the day. I like the fact that it’s safely tucked away in the scrapbook, and not taking up space on a shelf or in a box somewhere.

    February 3rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm

  7. K J says:

    I like your Belly Autograph Kit the best, your idea for anatomically correct bears is #2 and the diaper autograph kit is a distant third. I’m curious why you failed to mentioned Suri Cruise’s bronzed first bowel movement. Why don’t all parents do that for their kids? I’m sure you would work in some signatures at the base.

    February 5th, 2009 at 10:31 pm

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