Monday, February 2nd, 2009
Baby Autograph Keepsake Deathmatch
In the left corner we have the Birth Signz Autograph Diaper Kit by Honey Bunz Diapers. This diaper is imprinted with the phrase “It’s a girl” or “It’s a boy,” and packaged with a pen, confetti, acid-free bag and a bag seal.
Step 1. Give birth.
Step 2. Have hospital guests sign the diaper with your specially formulated non-fading non-bleeding pen that won’t tear the diaper fabric.
Step 3. Place the diaper in your archival-quality keepsake bag. Insert the confetti for added festiveness.
Step 4. “Years later, your baby will know just how special he or she was to so many people.”
In the right corner we have the Baby Shower Autograph Bear by a company so proud I wasn’t able to track down its name. It’s a hairless albino teddy bear with a pink or blue diaper bearing the message, “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!”
Despite its name implying a baby shower tie-in, you could bring it to the hospital.
If it were my brainchild, I’d have used a gender-neutral color for the diaper and simply made the bear anatomically correct. Oh well.
Step 1. Give birth.
Step 2. Have hospital guests sign their names with a Sharpie.
Step 3. Place the bear into a gallon Ziploc bag, or if the bag is too small, place the bear into a plastic Safeway shopping bag and staple the bag closed. For added festiveness, throw in some cut up squares from last Sunday’s comics section.
Step 4. Years later, your baby will know how special he or she was to so many people whom you no longer speak to because they moved away or you changed jobs or you stopped speaking to them because they had really dull personalities.
Now, I know I titled this article a deathmatch, but in reality, who wants to see a bear and a diaper fight? The bear will win every time, right? Feel free to weigh in with your perspective.
What other precious baby autograph keepsakes are just waiting to be invented?
- Baby’s First Spit-up (sign a commemorative vial).
- Baby’s First Mucuous (vial again, super easy to do if you own a Nosefrida)
- Baby Shower Belly Autograph Kit (attendees sign their names to mom’s belly, then a toll-free number is called and a tattoo artist is dispatched to your home to immortalize their names).
- Any others?