Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
Fame of Shame Game #8: Triple Play Edition
Below are brief profiles of three children’s products that debuted at the ABC Kids Expo in Las Vegas this month.
I invite you dear Thinga-readers to tell us why these products do not signal apocalypse as foretold in the Book of Revelation. No, sorry, I meant to say, why these inventors are destined for fame, or shame. You’ve surprised me before. Feel free to do so again.
1. BizzyBee by Chicks With Kidz is a “baby data assistant.”
A what? Oh yes, last year the craze kicked off with the digital Itzbeen “baby care timer” by Coast Innovations. Paper and pencil are so yesterday.
For the suggested retail price of $150 the BizzyBee allows you to track sleep routines and feedings, sound a medication alarm and upload the data to your computer so you can obsess about it later.
I don’t know how we survived between 6,000 and 200,000 years without hand-held computers to remind us what transpired earlier in the day. (Hey, don’t remind me about sleep deprivation. I’ve been operating on 4 to 6 hours most days for the past six months.)
Early information tells us that it is teddy bear with a video screen grafted to its chest through which videos and music can be played. Interchangeable bases allow the bear-device-thing to be mounted to a baby stroller or shopping cart, placed on a flat surface or attached “to anything” (except perhaps the family dog).
My Ami is billed as “a child’s companion.” Good news Mom and Dad: you’re off the hook.
3. Piggy Paint by Piggy Paint LLC is “non-toxic fingernail polish designed especially for your little girl.” Apply 2 to 3 thin coats, air dry for 60 seconds and blow dry polished nails for 1 minute with a hair dryer.
Careful: “Since most young children are squirmy during the drying process of any polish, we suggest singing songs to pass the time.”
The polish is “piggy” because it’s billed as “natural as mud” containing “God’s natural ingredients.” In this case God is a fan of “water, water-miscible acrylic and polyurethane film formers and thickeners (well below 100 parts per million), glycol ethers. May contain mica, D&C red lake, ultramarine blue and chromium, iron and titanium oxide pigments.”
This product is not about encouraging the sexualization of girls at the youngest of ages. No, it was invented by a mother of a 2- and 4-year-old who love to have their fingernails painted. It’s a bonding experience that teaches fine motor skills, color names and patterns.
What say you? Fame or shame for these three inventions?