Casual Wear for Casual Dads from Bombastic Baby

Photo of a dark brown T-shirt with a 3-inch-wide white blotch running down the top-half of the shirt and a few additional drips on the lower-half of the shirt.

Breastfed Threads by Bombastic Baby are T-shirts for fathers, emblazoned with replica infant puke. Based on actual breast milk emesis patterns created by overfed babies, silicone nodules have been impregnated into deliciously soft tea-stained organic fair-trade Supima cotton to immortalize life’s unexpected moments.

A generous layer of diamond dust coats the replica spit-up, emitting a shimmer so fresh and genuine that playground moms will be lining up in the parking lot for a tempting touch. It’s breast barf bling.

The shirt’s designer explains:

"Monica Lewinsky made body fluids fashionable. What woman can resist a sentimental stain that showcases a strapping hunk taking care of his child? He may not have the baby right now because she’s home being cared for by her mother, but this shirt says the stud held his infant at least once, long enough for mom to pee. It’s sexy."

"Our shirts have been featured in GQ, Men’s Health, Maxim, Playboy and Field & Stream, and spotted on the hottest celeb dads including Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Charlie Sheen and Jason Priestly. Bombastic Baby helps you proudly sport your sputum."

Breastfed Threads are sold exclusively through finer baby boutiques in LA, New York and Chicago and on the shores of Lake Weiss, the crappie capital of the world.

New shirt designs replicating regurgitated formula will debut this winter featuring the twinkle of cubic zirconia.

Comments

13 Responses to “Casual Wear for Casual Dads from Bombastic Baby”

  1. PsychMamma says:

    Um. Totally NOT sexy. I think gross is a more appropriate word with a tiny dash of funny once you know it’s not real.

    Thumbs down from this playground mom.

    Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, etc. wearing these? Really???

    August 27th, 2008 at 5:57 am

  2. lindsey says:

    I second psychmamma….gross.

    Having had to deal with loads and loads of actual puke stained clothes kind of takes the attraction out of it.

    I guess when you have nannies to care for your children 24/7, there is still a newness to the whole parenting thing.

    Now poo on the pants however……ow. ow.

    August 27th, 2008 at 6:13 am

  3. My Boaz's Ruth says:

    1. If the guy has a baby, what mom is going to be interested anyway?

    2. sure, baby barf happens. But most people at least TRY to clean it off. Not wear it around everywhere they go. It’d make the guy look sloppy, etc.

    August 27th, 2008 at 6:13 am

  4. Kathleen says:

    Wow….gross. Who would really want to wear this. Guess there is a market for everything.

    August 27th, 2008 at 6:54 am

  5. Katie says:

    Fabulous! The perfect way to remember those little baby years.

    What I really want, though, is a way to immortalize those diaper blowouts that get everywhere. Plus, they’re so much more colorful than the simple white spit up.

    I definitely will be picking one up on my next trip to Lake Weiss.

    August 27th, 2008 at 7:23 am

  6. Jeffery Williams says:

    I might were this on Halloween. Otherwise it seem ridiculous.

    August 27th, 2008 at 7:33 am

  7. brettdl says:

    A real man only wears real baby puke.

    (Jeesh.)

    August 27th, 2008 at 10:39 am

  8. K G S says:

    A friend recently described the plane trip from hell, when (among other things) his young son had a massive diaper blowout on the plane that leaked on dad’s pants, then barfed on the back of dad’s head and all the way down his shirt as they stood in line for their next flight. What a fabulous outfit that would make!

    I recognize the strange, dark place you’re in.

    August 27th, 2008 at 10:41 am

  9. Paul says:

    Other than the allegedly “authentic” emesis patterns this company uses, how is this shirt different than the fake seagull poop t-shirts and hats that have been a staple of tourist traps worldwide….Do they have a model that says, “My kid refunded on me and all I got was this lousy t-shirt?” The diamond dust is a classy touch, however – nothing says masculine like a glittery fake baby vomit iron-on.

    August 27th, 2008 at 10:54 am

  10. Lisa says:

    How did Monica Lewinski make bodily fluids “fashionable”? BTW did sales in cigars spike, too? The shirt concept is plain offensive. I just don’t see the gag factor. Dad’s wearing this looked like they just walked out of Spencers gags n gift stores and to me it looks like they had a long night of partying and just puked on themselves……….while mom was at home alone, watching the baby. Not sexy.

    August 27th, 2008 at 9:48 pm

  11. Kara says:

    Actually Lisa, I think I remember hearing that cigar sales did go up. Eew.

    As for the shirt, it’s hilarious! A waste of money, but funny to look at on the web. As for those supposed celebs that were spotted wearing the shirts? They were probably just sporting the real thing.

    Ha-ha! Cubic zarconia! You crack me up, AJ!

    August 27th, 2008 at 11:10 pm

  12. Brian says:

    Well heck, the link doesn’t work and I can’t find the shirts anywhere else. I call shenannygans.

    August 28th, 2008 at 5:41 am

  13. AJ says:

    UPDATE AND DISCLOSURE: Okay, okay, this “product” is a joke.

    It seems to have fooled some folks and one or two blogs. Don’t feel bad. After I showed my wife the photo and picked her brain in detail for ways to describe the shirt, she didn’t realize it was fake, just my shirt photographed on our living room floor.

    So, here’s the story.

    My son barfed on me. Nothing new, right? Except this time the breast milk looked especially bright against my dark brown shirt. A damp halo surrounded the puke where it had begun to absorb into the cloth. The splatter pattern struck an emotional chord in the recesses of my brain.

    My first reaction was, “Oh, wow, put the baby down and grab the camera.” Then I thought, “It won’t be too long before someone designs a shirt on this theme.” Sure, they’ll probably stick a dumb slogan over the puke pattern, but they’ll still do it.

    I was planning to write the shirt up as a Fame or Shame game so you could tell me how much of a diseased mind I have, but then I thought, nah, I’ll just write it up like a real product.
    http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2008/08/christmas.html

    It was fun coming up with borderline marketing verbiage. “Breastfed Threads” could be a real T-shirt line and “Bombastic Baby” a good company to produce such a product. And those celebrities? They’re all dads and are frequently photographed in T-shirts.

    But if you believed a marketer would write that Monica Lewinsky reference, that a puke shirt would be peppered with diamond dust or that ‘letting mom pee’ is sexy, well, that’s just a sad commentary on state of the affluent baby product market you can find in abundance on baby product blogs today.

    Plaudits to Brain for calling me out, and doing so with my favorite euphemism for BS… shenanigans. Double plaudits to the folks who thought the fake was so obvious that I wasn’t trying to pull anything over on anybody (I really wasn’t).

    I merely meant this article to be a social commentary.

    September 5th, 2008 at 11:49 pm

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