Complete this Sentence: I want to buy stiletto heels for my baby because…

Photo of a package of Heelarious high heel baby shoes with a leopard print and two photos of the shoes outside the package.

Heelarious are soft baby shoes shaped to look like high heels. They come packed in a purse-shaped gift box, complete with a rhinestone closure for only $35.

These shoes are intended for infants from birth to six months. And when I say "shoes" I mean the type of shoes that are "not intended for walking" because the "heel will collapse with weight." No worries though because a baby isn’t likely to walk until about 11 months.

In other words, just like real stiletto heels, these things are all show, no function. Oh, okay, mostly show and a little bit foot warmer. They could serve as sock-holder-on-ers, but who wears socks and heels?

Check this New York Post article
to see how the shoes look with a baby attached. It’s difficult to
discern whether the kid is wearing the pink Sophie or Elle model, the
difference being a zebra or confetti lining. The photo found above on this page
is the Brooke, a modest offering with a leopard satin print and
black satin lining.

The Heelarious website advises that the product "is not intended to harm children in any way." Ohhh, good, thank you for that.

So, you may be wondering, what’s the point? As the product name indicates, the shoes’ makers intend them for parents who think dressing babies in high heels is funny.

I’m wondering what you folks think. As always, feel free to be amused, offended or excited when I kindly ask you to complete the following sentence: I want to buy stiletto heel shoes for my baby because…

Comments

23 Responses to “Complete this Sentence: I want to buy stiletto heels for my baby because…”

  1. AJ says:

    …my baby had to have something to show off at the theater when we went to see Sex in the City. Her first Girls’ Night Out was soooo much fun!

    July 7th, 2008 at 2:15 am

  2. molly says:

    …she’s only in the 95% for height.

    (and by the way — really? high heels for babies?)

    July 7th, 2008 at 5:23 am

  3. vanessa says:

    ….it would make me laugh all day long :)

    to funny !
    -vanessa from http://www.inevergrewup.net

    July 7th, 2008 at 5:41 am

  4. Julia says:

    …it’s never too early to make a girl a slave to fashion.

    July 7th, 2008 at 5:56 am

  5. Kathleen says:

    I want to buy these for my NIECE because….it would drive my brother absolutely CRAZY :) What fun!!!!!

    July 7th, 2008 at 6:28 am

  6. Nathan says:

    … it’s never to early to start destroying ligaments and tendons in the ankles and knees.

    July 7th, 2008 at 6:39 am

  7. Teacher Jen says:

    “… I want to get the ball rolling toward her guest appearance on the Howard Stern show at the age of 18!”

    July 7th, 2008 at 7:10 am

  8. Allison (CodeCrafter) says:

    “…I want to dress my baby girl as a lady of the evening for Halloween.”

    “…It’s never too early to try an catch a good husband.”

    Ok, done joking. I don’t find these funny or cute I just find them sad but then again I am the kind of mom who if I have a girl next will be dressing her almost exclusively in her brother’s old clothes.

    July 7th, 2008 at 8:09 am

  9. JMo says:

    … they perfectly complement the lipstick in her Laugh & Play Learning Purse. Every girl needs the perfect lipstick and the perfect shoes!

    … so Mom & baby can wear matching outfits for a next trip to Vegas. You know, it’s never too early to start taking pictures for the family holiday card.

    July 7th, 2008 at 8:30 am

  10. kelli says:

    …so we can wear our matching shoes when we lounge on the floor and read Cosmo together. She likes the pictures!

    July 7th, 2008 at 8:44 am

  11. Natalie says:

    …so I can freak out my in-laws when I put them on my son.

    (When he was a wee baby they told us we were turning him into a “sissy” when we comforted him when he cried, and that we held him “too much.” Yeah, right.)

    July 7th, 2008 at 9:06 am

  12. Beckie says:

    I am training him early for the role of Dr. Frankenfurter for our family production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    July 7th, 2008 at 10:46 am

  13. Kara says:

    …because it is never too early to start cross dressing!

    Just KIDDING!!

    July 7th, 2008 at 12:32 pm

  14. Pappy says:

    …having my monkey dance in public draws attention to its keeper.

    July 7th, 2008 at 1:12 pm

  15. My Boaz's Ruth says:

    Weren’t these showcased once before already? And only good for really little infants?

    July 7th, 2008 at 2:25 pm

  16. AJ says:

    Nope, never showcased here. You might be thinking of various sock brands designed to look like high heel shoes.

    July 7th, 2008 at 3:06 pm

  17. Midge says:

    I want to buy stiletto heel shoes for my baby because…

    they will help him to see things from his sister’s point of view. (Walk in her shoes)

    By the way, I think these are totally uncalled for! Your baby should be comfortable, not a fashion plate.

    July 7th, 2008 at 3:21 pm

  18. Poppy says:

    they look like Ms. Piggy shoes!

    July 7th, 2008 at 3:42 pm

  19. Nancy Talan says:

    …they’ll go great with her also inappropriate baby-sized bra and thong panties

    July 8th, 2008 at 10:05 am

  20. baby blankets says:

    I’ve tried to think of a way to complete this sentence…but I honestly don’t think I could put my baby in heels. Maybe because he’s a boy?

    July 8th, 2008 at 11:17 am

  21. Jenna says:

    I want to buy these shoes for my infant so that she can get a jump start on the trashy side of life! Think I will introduce her to some blue eyeshadow and some hairspray too. We could give her a stage name like Ms. Joy Rider and maybe nobody will question our parenting?

    Also as the authors of the article stated, daughters (and some sons) around the world could of course “channel their inner Carrie Bradshaw” and it is never, never to early to introduce children to the drama of Sex & the City.

    (and no, I don’t think that all of those who wear heels are trashy, or that all trashy people wear heels. There is a time and place for everything. The crib isn’t the place and 6 months isn’t the time.)

    July 8th, 2008 at 6:59 pm

  22. ericafromamerica says:

    because i wish to objectify my daughter as much as i can while she is young and impressionable. she shouldn’t think she might possibly be good for more than sex and cooking…

    July 8th, 2008 at 7:05 pm

  23. tawni says:

    ….because I want her to match her new Street Walker Barbie we bought her for her birthday….

    …because it’s never too soon to train her ankles.

    …because…the little footies just don’t look right w/ the leather mini! Duh!

    August 26th, 2008 at 6:05 pm

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