Complete this Sentence: When my Toddler Reaches for the Toilet Paper, I Want my Disembodied Voice to Announce…

Photo of the Potty Mate electronic toilet paper package, a photo of the spindle by itself and also the spindle as it appears inserted into a toilet paper roll. A caption window states: record your own messages!

Talking TP is a electronic toilet paper spindle that allows you to record a 6 second message for playback whenever someone grabs some toilet paper.

It didn’t take long for this product to be repackaged as the Potty Mate Talking Toilet Roll Holder. This version includes a potty training guide and reward stickers.

Insert 2 AAA batteries, turn it on, press the record button and start talking. Then replace the spindle on your existing toilet roll holder with the Potty Mate. Whenever toilet paper is pulled, the Potty Mate will rotate and trigger the playback of your recording. You can record a new message over the old one any time you like.

Example messages listed on packaging and marketing materials include:

  • "Dan! I’m so happy to see you’re going potty in the toilet."
  • "Great job Joey — way to go!"
  • "Take your time, there’s no need to hurry!"

Oh, but we can do better than that, can’t we?

What message would you record for your toddler to hear? Please, don’t let your child’s fragile psyche hinder your brainstorming. Movie quotes are fair game, too.

When my Toddler Reaches for the Toilet Paper, I Want my Disembodied Voice to Announce…


17 Responses to “Complete this Sentence: When my Toddler Reaches for the Toilet Paper, I Want my Disembodied Voice to Announce…”

  1. AJ says:

    …Wee! This is fun. Roll more paper out while Mom and Dad aren’t looking!

    June 18th, 2008 at 2:53 am

  2. Tracy P says:

    Not that much toilet papeeeeer!

    June 18th, 2008 at 4:38 am

  3. CanCan says:

    “Three squares is enough, honey!”

    June 18th, 2008 at 5:08 am

  4. Darby says:

    I would want silence. Anything that makes rolling toilet paper into an endless paper snake on the floor more interesting for my toddler is strictly prohibited. Apparently, toilet paper is interesting enough on its own.

    June 18th, 2008 at 7:06 am

  5. Jennifer says:

    IIIII’m waaaaatching yooooou….


    I really do know EVERY thing you do, now remember wipe front to back.

    June 18th, 2008 at 7:06 am

  6. Carrie says:

    Forget the toddler – I need this for my husband!

    Honey, please put the seat down, and remember to replace the roll!

    June 18th, 2008 at 9:03 am

  7. Jessica G. says:

    “Get back here and flush!”

    June 18th, 2008 at 9:16 am

  8. Marketing Mommy says:

    Don’t forget to wash your hands!

    June 18th, 2008 at 9:28 am

  9. Mark says:

    To make it a more realistic experience, it’d probably say “Hey…hey…that’s enough…no, you don’t need more…c’mon, let’s go wash hands now…put that back…oh man how am I gonna clean that up…” and so on.

    June 18th, 2008 at 9:30 am

  10. RobMonroe says:

    “Remember, you clog it, you plunge it!”

    “Y’all come back now” would be fun for an all-occasion roll.

    June 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am

  11. Sara says:

    How has no one mentioned the Austin Powers classic:

    AP: “Who does Number 2 work for?”
    Cowboy in next stall: “That’s right buddy! You tell that turd who’s boss”

    or from the same scene: “hey, what about a courtesy flush?”

    Wow…apparently this post brought out my inner 13-year-old boy…

    June 18th, 2008 at 12:16 pm

  12. kristina says:

    Call your dad so he can help you wipe!

    June 18th, 2008 at 7:04 pm

  13. daniel says:

    “Use the flush Luke!”

    June 18th, 2008 at 10:30 pm

  14. Pippin says:

    I see, corn for supper again?

    (ooh sorry, like Sara, the inner 13 year old has broken free…)

    June 19th, 2008 at 6:51 am

  15. RobMonroe says:

    Sara – thanks for pulling out the Austin Powers reference. I might buy this thing now just to record that!

    June 19th, 2008 at 8:06 am

  16. Jennifer says:

    LOL kristina, that one was just too much!

    June 19th, 2008 at 1:38 pm

  17. Kaz says:

    how about, “Cut it out, you stupid effin’ cat!”

    June 24th, 2008 at 7:23 am

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