Parent Inventions: Three Dreams Dashed in Three Sentences

Here are three new baby products and the concise reasons I think they’ll fail, or at least why I wouldn’t buy them.

Photo of a Baby Bumsie one-piece outfit and two padded inserts.

Baby Bumsie is an infant bodysuit engineered to handle diaper blowouts (known as "assplosions" in our house). When an ass explodes, a normal Onesie gets soaked and then you’re faced with pulling a wet garment off over your baby’s head. So the Baby Bumsie has removable quilted padding attached around the bodysuit’s crotch area using snaps and Velcro. The padding gets soaked while the bodysuit remains dry. You replace the padding much like swapping out a diaper, saving your baby’s face from poop smears.

Why I’m not buying it: I like bodysuits with snaps behind the neck or along the shoulder so I can pull the suit off down around the legs. At $34 a pop for a Baby Bumsie, I could buy several normal Onesies, or a dozen at a thrift store. I’m being asked to preventively dress my baby for assplosions every day, a task that is wasted if the ass isn’t exploding every day.

Four photos of the Sleeparoo system: a harness on a crib sheet, a baby in the harness, a close-up photo of a blanket secured to a crib rail and a happy baby underneath his blanket.

SleepaRoo is a "all-in-one infant sleep system" that tackles three big crib issues: blanket suffocation, rolling over and crib rail injuries.

A fitted sheet is equipped with a harness you strap your baby into that keeps the baby in the middle of the mattress. Rail attachments hold the blanket in place at armpit height, preventing it from being pulled over the baby’s head. All of this can be had for $59.98 Canadian dollars.

Why I’m not buying it: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends dressing your baby warmly instead of using a blanket. A baby rolling into a crib railing, well, I don’t understand the worry about a minor bonking. Once a baby is mature enough to roll over in his sleep, again, I’m just not concerned.

Three photos of the Sidekick shoulder harnessed baby bag that is also a hip carrier for a baby.

The Sidekick solves the age old problem of how to carry your baby everywhere and have your diaper bag with you, too. This diaper bag is held at your waist with a shoulder strap, and your baby sits on top of the bag with the aid of fabric that acts as back support — making it a hip baby carrier.

Why I’m not buying it: As parents who travel primarily by car, our diaper backpack resides in our car trunk most of the time. We don’t lug it on our person unless absolutely necessary, and the Sidekick would give us no choice. Plus, it’s much less versatile as a carrier than a regular sling that can carry a baby full frontal or on your back leaving your front side distraction free.

I’m not saying these three inventions are bad, just that regular existing products and procedures simply outweigh them.

Oh, but I’m just a jaded blowhard. What do you think?


17 Responses to “Parent Inventions: Three Dreams Dashed in Three Sentences”

  1. John says:

    I don’t think you are a jaded blowhard. I think the only one of these items that looks remotely useful is the bumsie, and then I’d only use it if I knew that there would be an “assplosion” coming. But if I knew that it was coming, I would use a bigger diaper, or for that matter, cut the cheapo onsie off the baby (so I don’t have to pull it off over baby’s head) and hose her clean (kidding).

    Sleeparoo looks like a baby torture device. I could see my kid wailing all night because she couldn’t move.

    The Sidekick looks like a chiropractor’s dream. Parents would be lining up to get their backs adjusted after carrying junior and all of his gear around on thier hip like a wiggly twenty pound cell-phone.

    Great job, keep finding more stuff out there that we can do without!

    June 5th, 2008 at 4:19 am

  2. CanCan says:

    I would be willing to test drive the Sidekick. The other 2 products don’t interest me.

    June 5th, 2008 at 5:51 am

  3. andrea says:

    The bumsie is similar in concept to the new onesies they are making for “reflux” babies. Have you seen the one’s with the zip-off fronts that you can change when the baby pukes on itself? Isn’t that what those fabric bibs are for that I have 30 of?

    June 5th, 2008 at 5:57 am

  4. Katie says:

    So, we have a diaper explosion pretty much every other day, no matter what diaper we use. What can I say, our baby has some amazing poop-abilities.

    I still wouldn’t buy the bumsie, though, because I’m cheap. I’ve also gotten really good at getting poop out of clothes. Also, when we use cloth diapers the diaper cover usually catches it so we just end up washing the diaper covers all the time.

    June 5th, 2008 at 6:49 am

  5. My Boaz's Ruth says:

    “Sleeparoo looks like a baby torture device. I could see my kid wailing all night because she couldn’t move.”

    Mine too. He can’t “Settle down” to sleep without moving.

    So we have to come by later and put a blanket on him if we decide it is necessary. (Our temps are fluctuating a LOT right now so if we dress for warmth, he is too hot to get to sleep. But then the temps plunge at night and he gets cold enough to wake up. But once he is asleep, he’s still enough that we have decided to drape a blanket over his lower body and so he sleeps through the night comfortably.)

    The only one tempting is the Sidekick. And slings have never worked for me so I doubt that would.

    June 5th, 2008 at 7:49 am

  6. Marketing Mommy says:

    The first two inventions are terrible, but I’m intrigued by the Sidekick since sometimes I rarely use a car and I frequently forget to pack a sling or carrier but I never forget the diaper bag. It’s like having a back-up baby carrier with you all the time.

    June 5th, 2008 at 9:03 am

  7. Marketing Mommy says:

    Please excuse my terrible writing and delete the “sometimes.”

    June 5th, 2008 at 9:03 am

  8. Sara says:

    it sounds to me like the burnsie is basically a really expensive diaper cover.

    June 5th, 2008 at 9:22 am

  9. Chelsea says:

    This is too funny… The sleeparoo makes me laugh. We used those Danish sleeping bags that you zip on for both of our kids. Wearable Blanket I think is the term I’ve seen used over there. One thing I realized though when my son outgrew his, is that he sleeps so much longer without it. I can’t even imagine what he would have done had he been strapped to his bed.

    June 5th, 2008 at 10:14 am

  10. Stephanie says:

    My problem with the SleepaRoo is that my kid would probably pull the blankets onto her head. She would be strapped down to her bed with a blanket over her head, and I would freak out at 2AM when I just wanted to look in on her pretty little face. I could skip that experience.

    As for the comment about the Reflux baby… unless you create a sleeper made of a raincoat material, puke will get over the baby and everything around her. No bib will help that.

    June 5th, 2008 at 10:17 am

  11. Andie says:

    The sidekick looks neat-but that’s the only one. I have been known to sit my 30lb baby on top of the diaper bag when wearing it against my hip with the strap accross my body. It accomplished the same thing.

    June 5th, 2008 at 12:30 pm

  12. Andie says:

    The sidekick looks neat-but that’s the only one. I have been known to sit my 30lb baby on top of the diaper bag when wearing it against my hip with the strap accross my body. It accomplished the same thing.

    June 5th, 2008 at 12:30 pm

  13. Cindi says:

    I think I have to agree with your viewpoint on each of the three products. I definitely agree about the crib outfit! My boys never wanted a blanket, so I did dress them appropriately, I hope! The sidekick is okay, but unnecessary, so why pay the cost of it! I think parents can own too many contraptions. Thanks,Cindi

    June 5th, 2008 at 12:50 pm

  14. adrienne says:

    You may be a jaded blowhard, but you’re totally right about the Sidekick. I tried one last year and it was a nightmare:

    It also really isn’t well-suited for anything more than infant or very short term toddler carrying unless the parent really wants to destroy their back.

    June 5th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

  15. Jen M says:

    Never commented here before; who new it would be a bumsie to bring me out of lurking.

    Gotta say: Looks a lot like wrapping a disposable diaper in a cloth diaper, and an expensive one at that.

    We never had diaper leaks like the weekend we went to visit grandma and didn’t take cloth – yikes. You can get a dozen good pre-fold diapers and a couple covers for less than $34.

    June 6th, 2008 at 5:12 am

  16. Cary says:

    I’m with the others that the Sidekick is a great idea that could use a little more development. Carry baby AND necessary gear in one carrier? Great! A little more development, and maybe some attention from other carrier-makers who’ve broken into the mass market, and it could be really awesome.

    That said, I have always thought side carriers in general look like they’d hurt after a while. Add a bag of gear to the weight, and it seems like the bent-spine problem would be much worse.

    June 8th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

  17. Tracy P says:

    I just think the bumsie is too much fiddling around. All that padding and poppers. I just roll the onesie up til all the poop is covered by the roll, and then pull it over baby’s head. Works like a charm!

    June 14th, 2008 at 12:20 am

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