Complete this Sentence: I Want to Buy this Cadillac Escalade Motorized Ride-On Toy Because…

We’re exploring an experimental game format. Complete the sentence that accompanies the real product photo below. Be snide, proud, defensive, thoughtful, funny or mildly disturbing.

Photo of two girls riding atop a pink Barbie Cadillac with its top down. A black version of the vehicle is also shown.

I Want to Buy this Cadillac Escalade Motorized Ride-On Toy Because…

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21 Responses to “Complete this Sentence: I Want to Buy this Cadillac Escalade Motorized Ride-On Toy Because…”

  1. AJ says:

    …you’ve got to teach your kid how to do donuts on a lawn sometime.

    May 30th, 2008 at 12:46 am

  2. OM says:

    …two lessons are learned at once. Being Barbie is good for your self-image and 7 miles per gallon is not only good for the pocketbook but good for the environment as well.

    May 30th, 2008 at 3:26 am

  3. Amanda says:

    it may be the only caddy they ever own.

    May 30th, 2008 at 4:31 am

  4. Nathan says:

    I prefer a planet where Florida, London and Hawaii are underwater.

    May 30th, 2008 at 4:58 am

  5. mapsgirl says:

    …every little girl needs a better truck than her daddy!!!

    May 30th, 2008 at 5:11 am

  6. Kathleen says:

    ….with the price of gas, I may need it to get around :)

    May 30th, 2008 at 6:16 am

  7. Stephanie says:

    …your daughter is planning on marrying a rich man, skipping college, and is purchasing fake boobs someday… so she’ll need the pink Barbie Cadillac to finish off her superficial image. Harvard girls drive hybrids…

    May 30th, 2008 at 6:42 am

  8. RobMonroe says:

    …I loves me some spinner rims and can’t afford them for my Hyundai.

    May 30th, 2008 at 6:44 am

  9. Darby says:

    I live vicariously through my children, who will no doubt need years of therapy because of me in the future.

    May 30th, 2008 at 7:07 am

  10. Natalie says:

    …it’s never too early to instill a sense of entitlement in my child – and one of his first lessons will be how to park in two spaces, not use a turn signal (and creep into other lanes, forcing smaller wimpy vehicles out of his way). After all, we’re Americans, dammit, and we’ll drive a family “car” that’s bigger than most delivery vans in the rest of the world if we want to. And 7mpg (downhill with a tailwind) is a testament to American ingenuity, especially when you consider the sheer mass/intimidation factor of the vehicle.

    May 30th, 2008 at 7:14 am

  11. Christy says:

    Because she is tired of her red radio flyer trike getting “Trike Jacked” at red lights. Perhaps if she had the Escalade with spinner rims and the Bling Accessory Package she would look too tough to approach.

    May 30th, 2008 at 7:25 am

  12. Jennifer says:

    …in a few years, large vehicles like this will be obsolete and she just must be able to have the thrill of having the biggest and best at some time in her life!

    May 30th, 2008 at 7:35 am

  13. adrienne says:

    …conspicuous consumption is not learned in a day.

    May 30th, 2008 at 8:11 am

  14. Carina says:

    …because the girl next door has one I can see right out the window, and I want one too!!!

    May 30th, 2008 at 8:38 am

  15. My Boaz's Ruth says:

    …two can ride so he can learn sharing early.

    May 30th, 2008 at 8:38 am

  16. Katie says:

    …because my parents never got me a car, so I’m starting early to make up for it.

    May 30th, 2008 at 9:53 am

  17. Amanda says:

    it’s never too soon to be a skank

    May 30th, 2008 at 12:29 pm

  18. Jeffery Williams says:

    It’s the only electric vehicle on the market I can afford.

    May 30th, 2008 at 12:31 pm

  19. Pippin says:

    If I have to learn to ride a bike I may get all sweaty and get some exercise. Ewwww gross, sweat….

    May 30th, 2008 at 12:48 pm

  20. Kate says:

    … putting my kids in an SUV just makes me feel that they are “safer”.

    June 2nd, 2008 at 5:25 am

  21. katrina shen says:

    Because I must buy it for my 3 year old daughter :P She thinks she’s a princess and I plan on letting her imagination see the beautiful things life can offer. So when she gets older she will always look for the positive and beautiful things and how to achieve then. This car will be her drive there. Damn I’m a great mom :)

    January 17th, 2010 at 11:22 am