Monday, April 14th, 2008
As Seen on Amazon: Three New Dad Gifts to Avoid Giving to a New Dad
Dad Brag Book — This “beautiful yet masculine, light blue suede-covered brag book” holds twenty 3×5″ or 4×6″ photos. Wow, suede. If it wasn’t blue, it could be mistaken for an exceedingly long wallet for a father with impossibly large buttocks.
Why not just print wallet photos and, ummm, put them in a wallet? Sure, you probably wouldn’t fit more than two or three photos in a wallet, but two or three is the most a casual acquaintance could bear to view. With my first child I carried one wallet photo and told people everything else was on my baby blog. That left people free to look or not look as often as they liked without me foisting baby photos on them at every opportunity.
To Daddy on Our First Father’s Day Photo Magnet Frame — Moms, here’s a hot tip… this sort of kitschy nicknack makes our eyes roll. At home we’d prefer to display a photo in a real frame, although maybe not even do that because our baby is right there a few feet away from us.
What, then? Should we display the magnet at the office on the employee fridge? Here’s another hot tip… coworkers who have never been parents don’t want to be constantly reminded of your bundle of joy anymore than they would want to see the latest photos of a beloved dog or slides from your summer vacation.
This magnet is designed to display wallet-size photos… so… how about we keep our photos in the wallet? People who care will ask to see.
The really disturbing aspect of this magnet is found in the product description. “Easy to mail,” it states. Ummm… So… Where is Dad? Stewing in jail? Shouldn’t you be inserting the baby photo into a pack of cigarettes?
Yeah, I know, Dad could be serving in the military, say, in Iraq. There’s nothing amusing about that situation, and I doubt a fridge magnet would be his preferred display method. He’s going to carry wallet-size photos of his family on him at all times.
Daddy’s Diaper Changing Apron — This chef’s apron features the phrase “Daddy’s Doodie,” and has two bottle nipples conspicuously positioned over the chest area. The apron comes with a disposable diaper, rubber gloves, clothespins and a face mask.
Let’s ignore for a moment that clothespins are for cloth diapers, not disposables.
No, the real issue is that if you want Dad helping out with the baby, this is the last gift to give him.
Does it tell him that baby care is every bit as scary and disgusting as he feared, or that the idea of him helping you with the baby is laughable? That’s a recipe for failure.
If you want to get a new dad a practical gift, buy him Wailing Baby Ear Protectors.
See previous: Embarrassing Gifts for New Parents