As Seen on Amazon: Three New Dad Gifts to Avoid Giving to a New Dad

Photo of the Smiles for Daddy Brag Book which resembles a large blue wallet with an oval cut from its cover for displaying a photo.

Dad Brag Book — This “beautiful yet masculine, light blue suede-covered brag book” holds twenty 3×5″ or 4×6″ photos. Wow, suede. If it wasn’t blue, it could be mistaken for an exceedingly long wallet for a father with impossibly large buttocks.

Why not just print wallet photos and, ummm, put them in a wallet? Sure, you probably wouldn’t fit more than two or three photos in a wallet, but two or three is the most a casual acquaintance could bear to view. With my first child I carried one wallet photo and told people everything else was on my baby blog. That left people free to look or not look as often as they liked without me foisting baby photos on them at every opportunity.

Photo of a magnet labeled 'To Daddy on our first Father's Day' with an oval cut out for displaying a wallet-size photo.

To Daddy on Our First Father’s Day Photo Magnet Frame — Moms, here’s a hot tip… this sort of kitschy nicknack makes our eyes roll. At home we’d prefer to display a photo in a real frame, although maybe not even do that because our baby is right there a few feet away from us.

What, then? Should we display the magnet at the office on the employee fridge? Here’s another hot tip… coworkers who have never been parents don’t want to be constantly reminded of your bundle of joy anymore than they would want to see the latest photos of a beloved dog or slides from your summer vacation.

This magnet is designed to display wallet-size photos… so… how about we keep our photos in the wallet? People who care will ask to see.

The really disturbing aspect of this magnet is found in the product description. “Easy to mail,” it states. Ummm… So… Where is Dad? Stewing in jail? Shouldn’t you be inserting the baby photo into a pack of cigarettes?

Yeah, I know, Dad could be serving in the military, say, in Iraq. There’s nothing amusing about that situation, and I doubt a fridge magnet would be his preferred display method. He’s going to carry wallet-size photos of his family on him at all times.

Photo of Daddy's Doodie apron featuring the name Daddy's Doodie, the drawing of a baby, two bottle nipples and a variety of other items tucked into apron pockets.

Daddy’s Diaper Changing Apron — This chef’s apron features the phrase “Daddy’s Doodie,” and has two bottle nipples conspicuously positioned over the chest area. The apron comes with a disposable diaper, rubber gloves, clothespins and a face mask.

Let’s ignore for a moment that clothespins are for cloth diapers, not disposables.

No, the real issue is that if you want Dad helping out with the baby, this is the last gift to give him.

Does it tell him that baby care is every bit as scary and disgusting as he feared, or that the idea of him helping you with the baby is laughable? That’s a recipe for failure.

If you want to get a new dad a practical gift, buy him Wailing Baby Ear Protectors.

See previous: Embarrassing Gifts for New Parents

Comments

9 Responses to “As Seen on Amazon: Three New Dad Gifts to Avoid Giving to a New Dad”

  1. Diana (Holes In My Shiny Veneer) says:

    OK, these are all ridiculous! I can’t think of a single dad I would ever foist these upon, unless I was giving the apron as a gag gift at a new parents’ shower…

    April 14th, 2008 at 8:45 am

  2. Diana (Holes In My Shiny Veneer) says:

    And I forgot to say I don’t know a single dad who actually carries prints of their kids. Lots who have them on their cell phone, though!

    April 14th, 2008 at 8:46 am

  3. Allison (CodeCrafter) says:

    That apron is just awful and horrid. What exactly are they trying to imply with the bottle nipples attached to it?!

    April 14th, 2008 at 9:29 am

  4. Cindi says:

    I love your post! I think I have laughed at this one more than any other. Thanks for making me laugh
    today. I really needed that…..Cindi

    April 14th, 2008 at 9:48 am

  5. JS says:

    Haha I actually know a dad that wears one of those masks, and has tried gloves… if I had money to waste I would probably get him the apron just to make a point of how silly he looks to everyone else. I definitely don’t understand the nipple part though.

    April 14th, 2008 at 10:43 am

  6. bombaygirl says:

    We gave that Daddy’s Doodie apron to a friend as a gag gift at their baby shower. He wasn’t expecting a gift, and was really touched…until he opened it up and saw what it was. It was hilarious, seeing him try it on, and ham it up. It was more funny, seeing his wife laughing at him.

    April 14th, 2008 at 5:14 pm

  7. summer says:

    Those are hilarious. 1.) My husband would never carry that baby blue colored wallet thing. 2.) magnet – maybe but still seems kinda er er if you know what I mean 3.) that has got to be a joke. That would be a great prank gift! LOLOLOL

    too funny!

    April 15th, 2008 at 7:43 am

  8. Chief Family Officer says:

    Yikes on the apron!

    I still remember what you said last year about the embarrassing “#1 Dad” type shirts, and now I’ll too abashed to bring out the one I got for my husband last year!

    April 15th, 2008 at 8:19 pm

  9. LiteralDan says:

    Oh man, those are great
    I think the apron one is a gag gift, though– it’s just gotta be

    The other stuff, I think, is only for couples in which the wife doesn’t know the husband very well, and who may or may not be headed for divorce very shortly.

    April 19th, 2008 at 12:00 pm