Friday, April 25th, 2008
Ten Baby Shirts to Confuse, Worry or Enrage The Grandparents
This is a continuation from last week’s "As Seen on Amazon" series.
Funny and irreverent baby shirts are something of a cottage industry. Slogans get copied, repeated and rehashed ad infinitum. So, I’m always surprised to see a new slogan that is odd or funny. I’m not sure why some of the following shirts even exist…
1. If you think I’m good lookin’ you should see my uncle. Okay, is there a joke about uncles I don’t know?
2. Future Lawyer. No offense to any counselors reading this.
3. Playpen Penitentiary. Is Daddy wearing one too?
4. They’re raising me gay. This is a joke on everyone who thinks it’s possible.
5. Confucius says Kuwaiti food makes Kuwaiti poo. I thought this might be some sort of odd racist statement, but there are shirts for a range of countries, including Confucius says American food makes American poo.
6. Trinidadian Pimp. I don’t care which country you pick. Calling your baby a pimp is always classy.
7. Trojans Suck. No, not condoms. This shirt refers to the University of Southern California Trojans sports teams, or perhaps any Trojans team. There are also shirts for Duke, OSU and other universities. So, take your family to a college football game and get arrested for child endangerment.
8. I heart my gay uncle. Again, what is it about uncles?
9. Albanian Soldier. This one is available for many other countries, but they’re all printed in English. Huh?
10. Attention: Expert diver passed 9 months in German waters. I work for milk. This is a clever message if the mother happens to have German ancestry. It’s available for a range of countries, including America. But wait, it’s also made for landlocked countries such as Austria. And, oof, doing a Cuban version, that’s just wrong.
Bonus #11: Photo with baby 25 cents. This one isn’t weird, just clever. I like it. Although, instead of letting people pose with my baby, I would be selling preprinted wallet size photos.