Friday, April 18th, 2008
As Seen on Amazon: Four Baby Products for a Fanatically Deranged Baseball-Obsessed Parent
1. It’s a Girl Baby Baseball (or boy) â€” This baseball is made of polyester and cotton with a fake leather cover. Presumably it’s a commemorative gift for Mom and Dad. Do you think they dispose of it after the baby shower, toss it to the family dog to shred, or hold onto it for several years until T-ball season? How far do you suppose a cotton ball flies? Or is it every parent’s dream to watch their baby chew on synthetic leather?
2. Baby’s First Baseball Glove (in baby pink or blue) by Nokona â€” It comes embroidered with your infant’s name and birth date and is ready to use as soon as the baby can handle a 9-inch glove.
I suppose I can’t knock a baseball fan who would buy such a thing. I was hoarding Lego blocks before my daughter was even born. One more year. Just one more year!
3. Lil Slugger Baby Pacifier by Billy Bob Teeth â€” Who wouldn’t want to simulate a baseball being stuffed into a baby’s mouth?
4. Ebbets Field â€” Share your love for baseball by giving your child a commemorative replica clod of infield grass from Ebbets Field. Keep the spirit of the original home of the Brooklyn Dodgers alive, pretend playing that the field wasn’t demolished in 1960 in one of the most infamous abandonments in the history of sport. This living clump of sod is composed of Perennial Ryegrass and Tall Fescue, doubling as a living science experiment and indoor pet.
Okay, not really. It’s Kate’s Moss, a yarn baby hat by Zooni.
Thanks for putting up with Amazon links this week. More real product reviews next week…