As Seen on Amazon: Four Baby Products for a Fanatically Deranged Baseball-Obsessed Parent

Photo of a pink baseball emblazoned with the message: It's a girl.

1. It’s a Girl Baby Baseball (or boy) — This baseball is made of polyester and cotton with a fake leather cover. Presumably it’s a commemorative gift for Mom and Dad. Do you think they dispose of it after the baby shower, toss it to the family dog to shred, or hold onto it for several years until T-ball season? How far do you suppose a cotton ball flies? Or is it every parent’s dream to watch their baby chew on synthetic leather?

Photos of a blue and pink baseball glove.

2. Baby’s First Baseball Glove (in baby pink or blue) by Nokona — It comes embroidered with your infant’s name and birth date and is ready to use as soon as the baby can handle a 9-inch glove.

I suppose I can’t knock a baseball fan who would buy such a thing. I was hoarding Lego blocks before my daughter was even born. One more year. Just one more year!

Photo of a pacifier that to an external viewer resembles a baseball, or at least an elongated baseball.

3. Lil Slugger Baby Pacifier by Billy Bob Teeth —  Who wouldn’t want to simulate a baseball being stuffed into a baby’s mouth?

Photo of a clump of green something. Multiple shades of green filaments or blades or strings or who knows what are amassed in this monstrosity.

4. Ebbets Field — Share your love for baseball by giving your child a commemorative replica clod of infield grass from Ebbets Field. Keep the spirit of the original home of the Brooklyn Dodgers alive, pretend playing that the field wasn’t demolished in 1960 in one of the most infamous abandonments in the history of sport. This living clump of sod is composed of Perennial Ryegrass and Tall Fescue, doubling as a living science experiment and indoor pet.

Okay, not really. It’s Kate’s Moss, a yarn baby hat by Zooni.

Thanks for putting up with Amazon links this week. More real product reviews next week…

Comments

8 Responses to “As Seen on Amazon: Four Baby Products for a Fanatically Deranged Baseball-Obsessed Parent”

  1. Chief Family Officer says:

    You know, someone actually got us the boy baseball when my oldest was born. Maybe she thought I really like baseball because I used to work for a team, but I have to admit, my reaction was more of a, “What the heck is this for?!”

    April 18th, 2008 at 6:55 am

  2. AJ says:

    CFO, what was the ball’s fate? Still have it?

    April 18th, 2008 at 8:34 am

  3. Cindi says:

    Most of the baseball items are silly. I do like the glove with the child’s name on it. Of course, I have two sons who are wonderful at playing baseball. Baseball rules in this house…..Cardinals and the Red Sox. Thanks for your fun item reviews. Cindi

    April 18th, 2008 at 11:15 am

  4. JMo says:

    I like the pacifier! I mean no kid looks cute w/ a pacifier hanging out of their mouth, but this is the perfect conversation starter for when you meet single people who don’t relate to kids.

    If the baseball was customized w/ the baby’s name *and* DH’s favorite team, you can beat that would be in our nursery.

    April 18th, 2008 at 12:08 pm

  5. Chief Family Officer says:

    Hey AJ – If I’d had my way, I think the baseball would have ended up at Goodwill. But the next time I saw the ball, my darling husband had already written Alex’s name and stats on it (which was kind of weird, I thought, since my husband doesn’t care for baseball at all). Since then, I’ve buried the ball in Alex’s keepsake box. How long it will remain there is anyone’s guess!

    April 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

  6. Mama Peach says:

    Actually, I could see the first two items being really cute IF they were circulated at the baby shower for everyone to sign with a Sharpie. Or after baby’s birth. I have seen teddy bears for just that purpose..but how many stuffies does one child need. The other two are just weird … lol

    April 19th, 2008 at 7:35 am

  7. Chief Family Officer says:

    @Mama Peach – I have to agree, I think the baseball would have been better if it had been signed by everyone at my shower :)

    April 21st, 2008 at 9:17 pm

  8. RobMonroe says:

    What’s the problem here? My daughter got a pair of pink hockey sticks….

    April 22nd, 2008 at 5:37 am

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