Friday, March 14th, 2008
Two Questions for Evil Martha Stewart
If a father were to immerse his hand in the blood of his wife’s freshly plucked placenta and smear it on a white one-piece infant outfit and let it dry… how would he go about setting that stain in the garment for permanent retention and resistance to repeated washings?
Secondly, what common baby garment fabric is especially good for retaining blood stains?
Extra points to anyone who correctly guesses what will be depicted in the smear.
Double extra points for suggesting a better drawing idea than the one inside my head. And no, I’m not thinking of anything gruesome, except for using blood as finger paint.
And, double no, my baby boy hasn’t arrived yet, but a guy’s gotta prepare, doesn’t he?
P.S. That’s the evil Martha Stewart you see as she appeared in the Star Trek episode Mirror, Mirror. She is more aptly referred to as Mirror Martha because she had the integrity and good sense to let Captain Kirk escape back to his universe at the end of the episode. Oh, and I spent waaaay too much time with Photoshop for a post this brief.
I do seriously need some good advice beyond washing in hot water. And as long as I have my hands bloody, I might as well paint more than one shirt, so ideas are welcome.