Comments on: Would you, could you, have you ever said, “Don’t touch my baby”?

By: mplpl

mplpl — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 19:32:19 +0000

When people touch my baby, I pull out my mobile phone, dial a 9 and a 1, and say, “You know, technically, that is assault. Should I dial the last 1?” Gets the point across…

By: Tanya

Tanya — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:57:47 +0000

The sense of entitlement that people have to handle anyones children continues to amaze me. I have been in the field of child development for 30 plus years and even now when new families bring their children in to meet ‘Miss Tanya’ I smile say ‘hello’, offer myhand to their parents. But when I turn to them I say ‘hello,——’,and include the child’s name and keep my hands open but in my lap. If the child moves closer I respond, but only then. Children are not objects. And,’cute’ is not good excuse to touch anyone least of all children. Illness is definitely a concern, but with the behavior of random touching aren’t we also teaching children that they have no voice in the matter? A few baby signs can be modeled very early in your childs daily life so that your infant validate their sense of self and can communicate to you. Touching anyone without some form of permission is just plain disrespectful.

By: Monica

Monica — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:12:58 +0000

I’m just wanting to know if anyone has suggestions for polite ways to say, “Please don’t touch my baby.” While I kick myself sometimes for not being more proactive in these cases, I also agree that some germ exposure is beneficial for my 9-mo. old daughter. Is it rude to simply pull her away from those incoming, quick hands and say, “Please don’t touch her.”?

By: Darby

Darby — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:13:25 +0000

I'm 40 weeks pregnant right now (egad), and I have to admit that I have purchased several bottles of Purell hand sanitizer to keep around the house and in the car in anticipation of baby arriving. The stuff is great, and the label's claim that it "KILLS 99.99% of GERMS" offers at least some comfort to parents when they are able to force it on people who will undoubtedly want to touch their baby.

Unfortunately, circumstances do not always allow proper sanitation measures to be enforced. When the occasional stranger goes in to cop the unsolicited, albeit innocent, baby feel, the parents, recognizing the expiration of the fleeting split-second opportunity to grab the Purell bottle and shove it like a wedge between the self-indulgent stranger and their baby, turn into deer caught in headlights and hold their breath as the stranger undoubtedly contaminates their pure and defenseless little one. The parents part ways with the stranger, feeling dirty and violated, while the stranger feels all warm and fuzzy for having touched a miracle.

This being my second child I already feel much more relaxed about the whole "touching my baby" thing. I have never minded people touching my belly when pregnant, even strangers. It is only when I am not pregnant and people touch my belly that I get offended and freaked out. When I am "with child", I find it comforting and a bit energizing, like people are exchanging positive energy with my baby and me, as though we have superhero powers. After all, a baby growing inside its mother's womb is a pretty damn special thing. I can understand why people cannot help themselves and want to be part of one of the few tangible miracles on earth, enough to forget their manners and ideas of social norm to feel away at my body. In my opinion, it is okay. Likewise, it seems perfectly natural that they would want to touch the miracle itself, my sweet and perfect baby. Again, in my opinion, it is okay.

When I went to the store to purchase hand sanitizer for this baby's arrival, I did pause and think about whether we really needed it. The Purell, I decided, is more for us at home and for our 2 1/2 year-old sticky-fingered and boogie-nosed daughter, who will be the ultimate germ vehicle to our new baby. Forget about you strangers. Touch away, grocery store clerk, postmaster and waitress. I am pretty confident you all have less cooties than my toddler.

By: Danielle S

Danielle S — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 01:18:38 +0000

Oh! I MUST get the Look But Don't Touch for my little guy! That grosses me out when strangers come up and touch, sometimes even try to KISS him! Are you kidding me?! Gross!

By: Mama Peach

Mama Peach — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:58:48 +0000

Having also had a NICU baby, I found all of my slings and wraps invaluable in keeping prying hands at bay…people are much less likely to go poking when the baby is wrapped tightly to your bosom (although not everyone is afraid to go there…)

By: Melissa Moog

Melissa Moog — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:54:48 +0000

To this day I still remember quite clearly my horror story with Isabella, our 8 month old baby and a friend of ours! We had some friends over for a luncheon and of course everyone was ooh-ing an ah-ing at the baby, like most people do when they see cherub cheeks. Isabella started to fuss and one of our friends said “oh, she’s probably teething” then proceeded to stick her fingers in our baby’s mouth! Aghhh! I was so shocked I couldn’t speak, my jaw just dropped down a mile. At that point in time I would have loved a onesie on Isabella that said “keep your dirty fingers out of our baby’s mouth please”. I learned from that experience that I would gently tell someone next time to stop what they were doing if I thought it may cause harm to my child – the finger thing is an extreme case. I think the shirts are a fun idea especially for those parents who do not want to be too direct. Kudos to the mom entrepreneur for doing the hard work and following through with her business goal!

By: AJ

AJ — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 18:55:12 +0000

(Thinga-dad here...)

Criticizing the appropriateness of the shirt messages is sort of like saying my hat doesn't look good on me and I should take it off. What do you mean? I love this hat!

By the same token, these baby shirts are for parents with specific concerns and they won't be swayed by naysayers.

I appreciate hearing all perspectives so long as they are polite. That's hopefully why you guys and gals read Thingamababy. You're not just seeing product thumbnails and regurgitated marketing text. A mom or pop inventor won't like criticism, but it's part of the cost of doing business. We're having real discussions about the merits of products, parenting philosophies and so forth. So, I appreciate hearing that some of you think these shirts are great, and some think they're awful.

By: Meira

Meira — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 17:03:27 +0000

Aliyah,
I don’t think the ’support’ your advocating is very respectful of a MomTrepreneur. Is she not a strong, smart woman, just as capable as anyone else of coming up with something good? Do we say to ourselves, “Oh, we could have normal expectations, but since she’s a mom she’ll never live up to them . . .” and give her a pass?
The deal is, I find the shirts offensive and divisive on multiple levels. Thingamababy asked for reader’s opinions, and I gave mine (perhaps too many times, lol). If the mom’s feelings are hurt, well maybe she’ll look at these shirts from a broader perspective. If her feelings weren’t hurt, then I imagine she’s pretty happy to have the free publicity.

By: Monsterchew

Monsterchew — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 14:12:20 +0000

Just to put out there: proper hand washing with soap should take at least as long as it takes to sing two rounds of "Happy Birthday" or "Row, Row, Row Your Boat". Swirling your soapy hands around under cold water for 6 seconds does NOT count as cleaning them thoroughly.

Even with antibacterial soap. In fact, as I'm sure a lot of you have heard, there's controversy as to whether these soaps are completely effective, or, much like in the cases of unfinished antibiotics, they're creating more SuperBugs.

When in need, I stick with Purell. At least that works for sure.

But on the other hand, I'm not of the camp of having to sanitize my entire life after my kids are about 3-6 months of age, (depending on the season and the kid). Studies have shown that having some exposure to germs builds up the immune system. Imagine actually achieving a germ free environment for your kid. Then, when your kid goes out into the world for the first time and encounters the germ for the common cold, that cold is going to be a doozy.

But, with that being said, what I chose to make a priority in the sanitary realm is MY prerogative. Not that of some well meaning stranger, not that of my extended family. Mine and my husband's.

Considering that, I don't think there's anything wrong with the t-shirts. I do find them mildly obnoxious, but for me, that's just because I don't necessarily agree with allowing your child's clothing to say any message that we as parents want to convey.

By a long shot, they're better than the shirts that say, "Don't you wish I was your boyfriend?" and things like that.

However, most shirts with messages emblazoned across them are designed to "make people think" or "express an opinion" or to "show an allegiance"

I'm just not a fan of doing that before my kids are able to make decisions on their own. They're not my billboard, no matter how benign the message.

As I tell my two year old, if something happens that makes you mad, use your words.

I would just prefer they'd come from your lips, not off of the t-shirt of your kid.