Top Eleven Names I Wish I Could Give my Baby Boy

(Contest results soon, I promise, in the meantime…) The following are tongue-in-cheek baby name suggestions I’ve harangued my wife with over the past several months. The real list is much longer, but the following stick in my mind…

Photo of Kevin Flynn from Tron.11. Flynn is the whiz programmer in the movie Tron who gets zapped into the digital world. This was my one serious sci-fi name. Owing to the name being Irish, my wife said it’s fine as long as the baby is a redhead. Hmmm. Not a chance. Moving on…

Photo of Gamera.10. Gamera is a flying space turtle in Godzilla knock-off movies. He’s known as the defender of children and has a ripping repetitive theme song sung by admiring kids. Admittedly, Gammy is a better girl’s name, but Gamera epitomizes raw strength, which Sigourney Weaver has taught us is a solidly gender neutral quality.

Photo of General Zod from Superman 2.
9. Zod is Superman’s archenemy, a criminal exile from planet Kypton and a perennial presidential candidate. He exemplifies efficient leadership and strength through the principle of do-what-I-say-or-else.

Photo of Fezzik from The Princess Bride8. Fezzik is a giant of a man in the fantasy book and film The Princess Bride. The name represents strength, honor and sportsmanship, as evidenced by Fezzik’s battle with the story’s hero, Westley. Instead of obliterating Westley’s head with a boulder, he threw a warning shot, then negotiated a fair fist fight.

Fezzik’s rhyming is famous in our home, even though my 3-year-old daughter hasn’t seen the film yet.

Vizzini: “No more rhymes now, I mean it!”
Fezzik: “Anybody want a peanut?”

Photo of Joe Friday from Dragnet.7. Friday is Joe Friday of Dragnet fame, the father of all cop TV dramas. Friday’s singular passion is the law and people who do not respect it. His appeal is found in his textbook dialogue which is a cross between Earnest Hemingway and an angry robot. The name conveys precision, attention to detail and unyielding certainty of convictions.

Photo of Buckaroo Banzai.
6. Buckaroo (Banzai). Wow. What can you say about a rock star neurosurgeon particle physicist who travels through the 8th dimension in his pickup truck, unwittingly giving an exiled alien Hitler and his minions the chance to regain power, thus raising the ire of freedom loving alien forces who are prepared to destroy Earth in order to keep the peace?

It’s all a cult sci-fi flick of course, and good clean fun if you enjoy that sort of thing. Plus, you get to see John Lithgow giving himself a tongue tazering in a psychiatric ward (Lithgow is the Hitler figure). Buckaroo embodies intellect and bravery, and respect because he is looked up to by virtually everyone as a Renaissance man.

Photo of Egon from the movie Ghostbusters.
5. Egon. Actor Harold Ramis didn’t play the greatest of the Ghostbusters. No, that would have to be Bill Murray’s Peter Venkman. But Venkman is more befitting a dog’s name. I have to go with the geeky Egon for a baby boy. It’s not a made-up name either. It’s Germanic, meaning “edge of a sword.”

Photo of the Face of Boe from Doctor Who.
4. Boe. Sounds like a normal name, right? I’m referring to The Face of Boe. He’s a five-foot-tall head inside a glass jar who has lived for billions of years, from the world’s longest-running sci-fi TV series Doctor Who. Oh, and he’s wise and revered by all. I was surprised no sci-fi geeks submitted his name in my baby naming contest, but I kind of understand your plight. What Vincent shoes would a floating head wear? He’s not Mr. Potatohead. You can’t stick sneakers on scalp tendrils.

Photo of a mauve space capsule.
3. Mauve — Colors have been fair game for baby names for a while now. Mauve stands out in opening scene of the Doctor Who episode, “The Empty Child.” The Doctor and his companion are inside their ship chasing an unknown mauve-colored capsule through time and space.

Rose: What’s the emergency?
Doctor: It’s mauve.
Rose: Mauve?
Doctor: It’s the universally recognized color for danger.
Rose: What happened to red?
Doctor: That’s just humans. By everyone else’s standards, red’s camp. Oh, the misunderstandings! All those red alerts, all that dancing.

Photo of Vic from A Boy and His Dog.
2. Vic is the boy from A Boy and His Dog, a film based upon a sci-fi short story by Harlan Ellison. In a post-apocalyptic vigilante world, a pre-Miami Vice Don Johnson is Vic, a loner who survives by scavenging for canned food with the assistance of Blood, an intelligent telepathic former police dog.

A big spoiler follows… At the film’s end, Vic is reunited with Blood after a long absence only to find that Blood is starving death. In the final scene the dog has been fed and will recuperate, but Vic’s new girlfriend is, uhh, absent. *cough* You have to imagine that you didn’t like the girlfriend and you really, really liked the dog. Me? Got a lump in my throat. So the name Vic represents loyalty and friendship.

Photo of Jack O'Neill from Stargate SG1.
1. O’Neill, as in Jack O’Neill, is the Air Force colonel in America’s longest run sci-fi TV series, Stargate SG1. Although he was an anti-intellectual and chief soldier in an elite interstellar combat team, he epitomizes irreverence, wit and the maxim of questioning authority.

Take this quote from when O’Neill was tied down and being tortured by aliens.

Her’ak: No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
O’Neill: (exasperated) You ended that sentence with a preposition! Bastard.

Comments

20 Responses to “Top Eleven Names I Wish I Could Give my Baby Boy”

  1. erica says:

    The Princess Bride is among the best movies ever, so I’m a fan of Fezzik. As far as O’Neill goes, the name’s fine, but I liked him as McGuyver better. :o)

    February 12th, 2008 at 9:06 am

  2. baby boy says:

    I love Fezzik and therefor I love the name.

    February 12th, 2008 at 11:05 am

  3. PJ says:

    Don’t forget that Friday is also the name of the (female) main character in the Heinlein novel of the same name. Yay gender neutrality!

    February 12th, 2008 at 11:38 am

  4. My Boaz's Ruth says:

    I LOVE Fezzik!

    February 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm

  5. Pickel says:

    I actually have an ex-neighbor named Tuesday (you may have seen her on last week’s episode of Wife-Swap?)

    I love the name Flynn…but I think it is more of a girl’s name.

    February 12th, 2008 at 12:38 pm

  6. Morjana says:

    O’Neill would be an EXCELLENT name for your son!

    Jack O’Neill is witty, loyal, brave, strong, loves children, self-sacrificing..oh, so many attributes.

    Which of course, your son would have, along with both of his parents many wonderful attributes.

    Just think…in 2049, O’Neill could be President of the US!

    :)

    Morjana

    February 12th, 2008 at 3:17 pm

  7. Tara says:

    Ooh, the Tron connection just might push my husband over on the yes side of Flynn. Have to add that little tidbit to my list. :)

    February 12th, 2008 at 7:01 pm

  8. Marianne O. says:

    The name Victor is in the running, so I guess “Vic” isn’t entirely excluded…

    Two for one!

    February 13th, 2008 at 7:33 am

  9. Marianne O. says:

    Re: O’Neill: Our youngest son’s name is Niall, which is Gaelic for “champion.” We interpret that in the age-of-knights sense of championing a noble cause… standing up for what he believes in. He’ll probably spend a good deal of time spelling it out for folks though.

    As a side note, his Japanese name means “wisdom,” and his brother’s means “endurance,” so I refer to them (out of their earshot of course) as Brains and Brawn.

    February 13th, 2008 at 7:52 am

  10. Jed says:

    A little couplet that we use all the time while sailing:

    Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
    If there are, we’ll all be dead!

    February 13th, 2008 at 8:07 am

  11. muddie says:

    O’Neil! Who doesn’t love Jack! How could she resist, you know with all his charm and charisma?

    Now Friday is Wedenday’s long lost sister, I side with your wife there however, I do love Dragnet!

    February 13th, 2008 at 9:18 am

  12. kelli says:

    Oh, I’d have to go with Egon from that list. Why doesn’t your wife like any of these? What are her top names that you’ve argued against?

    February 13th, 2008 at 5:08 pm

  13. Shelly says:

    I think supermodel Elle McPherson named her son Flynn.
    Mauve? What would that do to a child?!
    O’Neill is cool.

    February 14th, 2008 at 8:40 am

  14. Naomi says:

    We joked about Stargate names, too, although Teal’C would have been more amusing than O’Neill or Carter. Or DanielJackson (one word) for that matter.

    Geeks.

    February 14th, 2008 at 9:12 am

  15. Naomi says:

    p.s. When I see the name Egon I think of the artist (Schiele) not “who you gonna call?”

    February 14th, 2008 at 9:14 am

  16. DashMom says:

    My brother-in-law did convince his wife to give their daughter the middle name “Ripley!”

    Instead of Boe, how about “Captain Jack?”

    February 14th, 2008 at 11:08 am

  17. MetaMommy says:

    Funny enough, I try to quote Fezzik, but my husband hasn’t seen the movie as many times as I have. Come to think of it, Inigo is another cool name ;-)

    February 21st, 2008 at 11:14 pm

  18. CanCan says:

    One of my guy friends really was pulling to name his son Friday as well.
    My brother very nearly was named Zolone by my dad.

    May 24th, 2008 at 12:08 pm

  19. daniel says:

    For some reason, my oldest son latched on to Gamera’s alternate name from “Gamera The Brave”-Toto.

    I’m more partial to Motorhead (plz insert your own umlauts) and Optimus Prime.

    June 18th, 2008 at 10:54 pm

  20. Ojus says:

    O! radiant,charming, lightgiving, etc.

    September 16th, 2008 at 1:50 pm

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