Friday, October 5th, 2007
Twelve Embarrassing Halloween Baby Costumes
1. Christmas Tree â€” You may ask yourself, why a Christmas tree? Well, given that you bought
your Halloween costumes in stores back in June, by the time October
rolls around aren’t you ready for Christmas?
This tree lacks tapered branches, making your baby’s six arms look like tentacles or tendrils.
When compiling this article I noticed that many baby faces are photoshopped into these monstrous costumes. Hmm, I wonder why.
2. Jack-in-the-Box â€” Babies love being enclosed in boxes. The sound you hear when you crank the handle might not be music.
3. Peanut â€” This costume is truly scary for parents of kids with allergies. (The kids themselves are oblivious.) Slather peanut butter on his lips for extra effect. You can tell that kid is ready to mouth everything in sight.
4. Baby Woopie Cushion â€” Your future teenager will never forgive you.
5. Pizza Slice â€” Seven other babies in your playgroup need to wear this costume, too.
6. Banana â€” This baby will be the first to go when the space monkeys land.
(Sorry, only my daughter will get that joke.)
7. Hot Dog â€” For boys only?
It’s been ages since I’ve seen condiment dispensers shaped like this. I know you can buy them, but what restaurants still use them?
9. Car Freshener â€” If only this costume actually smelled like pine so it could counter a baby’s not-so-fresh moments.
10. Money Bag â€” When other parents smile at your child’s costume, tell them your baby represents the nine billion taxpayer dollars that went missing in Iraq. Then ask if their kids have health insurance, laugh and walk away.
11. Zorro â€” Four problems. One, where’s Zorro’s signature Andalusian hat? Two, where’s the razor-sharp sword? Three, no offense to Antonio Banderas, but where’s the mustache? Four, if your baby refuses to wear the eye wrap, he becomes a leather-clad biker.
12. Astronaut â€” It’s a spermonaut! Don’t ask what the space ship looks like.
The NASA-style shirt patch appears to spell NAPS. Awww, how cute. Sorry, not cute enough. It’s still a sperm costume.
Coming next: embarrassing toddler costumes!