ConocoPhillips is Merely Torturing Halloween

This is an update to last year’s essay, ConocoPhillips is Killing Halloween.

Close-up photo of a Union 76 ball covered with a vinyl jack-o-lantern-styled cover.

If you recall from my rant last year, Union 76 gas stations in the western US have for decades been known for their giant revolving spheres emblazoned with the Union 76 logo. Come Halloween, stations would cover their 76 balls in an orange and black vinyl wrapper, transforming their primary signage into a festive, rotating jack-o-lantern. Cool, eh?

Then came the news that Union 76′s new evil owner, ConocoPhillips, was busily dismantling its orange 76 balls in favor of a hideous, red circle placed on a plastic square. In other words, they wanted to look as generic as every other gas station.

Well, in January of this year the company announced it would merely replace the majestic spheres of our youth with red versions, because, you know, everyone loves a red pumpkin.

The good news is that in my hometown, for one last Halloween, we have an authentic orange 76-ball-jack-o-lantern. We call it The Great Pumpkin and my daughter and I wave to it whenever we pass by.

[A few additional less color-stressed photos can be seen in last year's article.]

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