Friday, July 13th, 2007
About our Decision to have a Second Child
I wouldn’t normally announce the pregnancy so soon, preferring to wait a few months until we are past the most likely period for something going wrong. If a miscarriage occurs, we may very likely not try again. But hey, we’re excited today.
Our reasons for not having a second child were clear.
My wife had a tough pregnancy with pre-term labor resulting in her spending the last five months on anti-contraction medication and modified bed rest (stay around the house, don’t exert yourself, try not to be bored out of your mind). She also experienced serious pre- and postpartum depression. And of course, there were financial concerns with having another child.
So, why did we change our mind?
In hindsight, we know she was depressed even before the first pregnancy. Between therapy and medication (both successfully discontinued now) and supportive friends, she is better. We’re going into this new pregnancy knowing the warning signs to watch for, and aware of medications that can be called upon if needed. And we know who our friends are.
The desire to have two children continued to gnaw away at us. We want our Little Miss to have a sibling, even with a four-year age gap. We also want her to have a close family relationship after we’re gone. She has a first and third cousin, but other than that, our immediate family tree is facing certain demise.
As for my wife, much of my daughter’s first year was sad despite the obvious joyousness of the experience. She has not cited this as a factor in her thinking, but I see that she wants to recapture what she missed.
And, I suppose, we simply want. How do you quantify such a thing?