Monday, May 7th, 2007
NSFW: Circumcision Reversal with SenSlip Artificial Foreskin
Hey dads, for only $1.30 per day you can reverse the mutilation your parents inflicted upon you as an infant.
No, this isn’t a product for kids, but it might give you pause (or chuckles) in thinking about your perspective on circumcision.
SenSlip by Viafin-Atlas is artificial foreskin for circumcised men. It’s made of latex with microscopic viscose rayon fibers lining the inside, and the whole thing is reportedly quite flexible with a “luxuriant velvet feel.”
For the record, this is not *cough* a field-tested product review. I’m only regurgitating a summary of the manufacturer’s claims, not writing a balanced article.
It seems, your super-sensitive penis tip is a tired little fellow today, desensitized from decades of raw exposure and rubbing against underwear and the elements.
SenSlip attempts to restore the shield you were born with. Its purpose is to help return your battered buddy to a happy state, allowing for a “deeper and more enjoyable orgasm.” Oh, and to give you “a feeling of warmth, security and self-esteem.”
But wait. You don’t wear your foreskin during intercourse. SenSlip “is designed to keep its shape, consistency and appearance for up to ten days,” and retracts for urination, but it is not designed for intimacy. The company refers to it as a “garment,” so it’s best if you shed ALL of your clothes before engaging in relations.
To proceed, first, you follow the company’s sizing instructions and order a $29 starter pack. Figure out which of the four included sizes that are closest to your target size will fit best.
Second, your most economical choice is to buy foreskins in bulk, a pack of 10 for $119. You’ll wear approximately 37 per year. That comes out to $476 with 3 extra foreskins.
If all of this seems a bit strange, well, I didn’t even talk about your other options, such as foreskin restoration surgery and the National Organization for Restoring Men.
But for the record, if there’s one thing I would say about circumcision, it would be to repeat what the American Academy of Pediatrics had to say in its Circumcision Policy Statement
Summary and Recommendations
Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. In the case of circumcision, in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child’s current well-being, parents should determine
what is in the best interest of the child. To make an informed choice, parents of all male infants should be given accurate and unbiased information and be provided the opportunity to discuss this decision. It is legitimate for parents to take into account cultural, religious, and ethnic traditions, in addition to the medical factors, when making this decision. Analgesia is safe and effective in reducing the procedural pain associated with circumcision; therefore, if a decision for circumcision is made, procedural analgesia should be provided. If circumcision is performed in the newborn period, it should only be done on infants who are stable and healthy.