Three Unusual Baby and Toddler Products, Volume 3

Marketing photo of The Zoo filled with stuffed animals.

1. The Zoo by Beaver Works is a peculiar product for all ages. It targets the elusive niche market of Robert Lopshire fans who both want to see animals in cages and who give stuffed animals to their kids with gluttonous abandon.

Put simply, The Zoo is a 5-foot-tall plywood cage with elastic bars that exists for the sole purpose of storing stuffed animals. At 60" x 11" x 22" it takes up about 2 square feet of floor space and stores 90 medium sized stuffed animals. Check out the customer photo gallery. Skinner Box anyone? I’m still liking my Boon Animal Bag.

[Link via GoodyBlog]

Marketing photo of a child placing an orange Sneeze Sleeve to his mouth.

2. Sneeze Sleeve solves the age-old problem of kids sneezing. It’s a real dilemma. You can’t plug their noses with wax without their heads exploding. The next logical measure is to wrap this colorful fleece sleeve around your child’s arm and instruct him to sneeze onto the sleeve instead of onto friends. You would think his friends would get covered with mucous only once before they give him an "education" in manners. So one must assume your child is a bully and intentionally sneezes on people. Buy him a Sneeze Sleeve. For ages 2-and-up.

Potty Song logo from the Potty Song web site.

3. The Potty Song is a professionally recorded song that helps you serenade your child in the bathroom. Pooping to music is called "recognizable, consistent and positive reinforcement that will encourage your toddler to potty train."

For $9.95 you download an MP3 of the song customized with your child’s first name. If your child’s is named Jeff, Kim, Merzalina or an equally unusual name not previously recorded, then you’ll have to order a CD for $12.95. Or you could just make up your own song. "Potty! Potty! Potty! Potty! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"

See also: Three Unusual Baby and Toddler Products:

  • Volume 1: High Leg chair extender, nursing bracelet, Clever Coverz.
  • Volume 2: PlatePal, Mama Snot Pluck, Tubsider parent seat.
  • Volume 3: The Zoo animal storage, Sneeze Sleeve, The Potty Song.
  • Volume 4: Yellow pages booster seat, My First Zamboni, Solar System Travel Bag.
  • Volume 5 Japanese edition: shampoo hat, nursing bottle scissors, Pooh bedpan.
  • Volume 6: Doll playground, baby cologne, foam receiving blanket.
  • Volume 7: Horse chariot, leather-like baby gear, Babywunder Deluxe.
  • Volume 8: Fropper, safety tattoos, Snow Bear sled.
  • Volume 9: Birthday Suit Bear, Wooden Train Chandelier, Pink Lego Bucket.


4 Responses to “Three Unusual Baby and Toddler Products, Volume 3”

  1. Kate says:

    According to the manufacturers’ specifications, the Boon bag could technically hold more than the animal jail. FYI. If you are considering gifting with true gluttonous abandon.

    March 9th, 2007 at 4:33 am

  2. Linda says:

    Anyone else find something odd about the Potty Song logo? Why the Christian fish on the toilet? And what graphic designer was stupid enough to underline with gold under the toilet picture? It’s pretty goofy….

    March 9th, 2007 at 11:25 am

  3. Anonymous says:

    so is putting the stuffed animals in a cage somehow worse than stuffing them in a bag and sitting on them?

    March 9th, 2007 at 9:25 pm

  4. AJ says:

    Linda, good catch on the Ichthys, or “Jesus fish.” Given that the purpose of the Ichthys is to point the way to a secret Christian gathering in a society where such gatherings are persecuted, one must assume the web site proprietor lives under a totalitarian dictatorship and that the next meeting will be held in the bath tub.

    Mr. Anonymous, yes, putting stuffed animals in a cage is much worse than stuffing them into a bag and sitting upon them. Caging animals teaches children a conceptual framework of exerting power and control over nature rather than serving as a good steward of nature. Meanwhile, stuffing animals into a bag teaches kids that every animal is precious and necessary for making your life comfortable on planet Earth.

    March 9th, 2007 at 9:52 pm

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