My Two-Year-Old is a Petty Thief

Alternate title: I think my wife may be blind.

This is a tale of a fateful trip as recounted to me by my wife. She and our daughter found themselves in the art supply aisle at Staples last week.

Yes, Staples carries art supplies. They were there looking for a desk caddy—a plastic contraption with cups and containers that we might use to store my daughter’s craft supplies. (We later bought a rolling cart.)

“Mama, look at this. It’s for crayons.”

Marketing photo of several Crayon Savers.
Little Miss beckoned Mom to a 4″x5″ dark plastic case bearing a picture of crayons on its label. It was a Crayon Saver made by Newell Rubbermaid. It’s a hard protective carrying case for 24 crayons (crayons not included). Hey, they make plastic cases for bananas. Why not crayons?

“Yes, it is for crayons,” Mom said, before continuing the search.

Eventually, Mom asked a red shirt staffer if Staples sells a desk caddy. After some consternation and conferring with other red shirts, the answer was no.

Incidentally, last year I recall seeing boxes and boxes of The Desk Apprentice Rotating Desk Organizer stacked along the wall near the store entrance. It was a desk caddy invented by contestants on Donald Trump’s reality show The Apprentice. Today is selling the $35 behemoth for $15.

In any case, the red shirt was extremely apologetic, perhaps too apologetic. Mom received several apologies as the red shirt followed her to the exit. Neither my wife nor the red shirt noticed our Little Miss carry the not-purchased Crayon Saver from the store.

Next, my two girls stopped by Michaels Arts and Crafts Store, which is next door to Staples.

They picked up ribbon, a glue stick, color pencils and other supplies. They shared the load and Little Miss pushed her portion of the merchandise up onto the checkout counter, except for the Crayon Saver. Neither my wife nor the cashier noticed Little Miss still holding the Crayon Saver as she left the store.

Back at the car, it was time for a potty break inside the car trunk using our travel potty seat. Again, my wife did not notice her daughter holding the Crayon Saver.

OK, stop a minute. This oversight is too outrageous for me to accept, unless the Crayon Saver was put aside while potty business was conducted.

Then, at last, with her daughter in the car seat, strapped in, and with a yogurt cup in my daughter’s hand (it was lunchtime), Mom backed the car out of the parking space.

“Mama, I can’t eat this. I have this thing in my hand.”

Little Miss handed the Crayon Saver forward to Mom.

“Honey, I didn’t buy this,” Mom said with a newfound look of confusion.

My daughter responded, “Staples rhymes with maples!”


4 Responses to “My Two-Year-Old is a Petty Thief”

  1. AJ says:

    And yes, I get to return the Crayon Saver today.

    February 15th, 2007 at 12:17 am

  2. maggie says:

    I once rolled my child around Sephora, got back to the car, and discovered one of those uncapped sample lipsticks tucked under her in the stroller. Petty thievery! And not even two! (I didn’t return the lipstick – it seemed just too gross.)

    February 15th, 2007 at 10:33 am

  3. dani says:

    Boy, I am so glad to see that my child isn’t the only klepto! A few months ago we were walking around the mall and my 4 yr old son asked me if I was thirsty and if I wanted some water. I told him we didn’t have anything to drink and he said “ya mom, in the stroller”. I thought he was talking about an old bottle of water we had in there that we had used for the dogs when we took them for a walk. He reaches in to his sisters stroller and hands me a nice cold bottle of water. I asked my husband if he had bought some water and he had no idea what I was talking about. My son told me “no mom, I got it for you at the chocolate store”. Apparently there was a cooler full of drinks at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory store we had just come out of, and while we were buying a carmel apple he decided to help himself to a drink. His dad sure wasn’t happy when he realized what he did, but I couldn’t help getting a little choked up when he told me “I just needed to get a drink for you mom”.

    February 15th, 2007 at 10:11 pm

  4. tanyetta says:

    tooooooo cute!

    February 28th, 2007 at 5:21 pm