Thursday, February 15th, 2007
My Two-Year-Old is a Petty Thief
Alternate title: I think my wife may be blind.
This is a tale of a fateful trip as recounted to me by my wife. She and our daughter found themselves in the art supply aisle at Staples last week.
Yes, Staples carries art supplies. They were there looking for a desk caddyâ€”a plastic contraption with cups and containers that we might use to store my daughter’s craft supplies. (We later bought a rolling cart.)
“Mama, look at this. It’s for crayons.”
Little Miss beckoned Mom to a 4″x5″ dark plastic case bearing a picture of crayons on its label. It was a Crayon Saver made by Newell Rubbermaid. It’s a hard protective carrying case for 24 crayons (crayons not included). Hey, they make plastic cases for bananas. Why not crayons?
“Yes, it is for crayons,” Mom said, before continuing the search.
Eventually, Mom asked a red shirt staffer if Staples sells a desk caddy. After some consternation and conferring with other red shirts, the answer was no.
Incidentally, last year I recall seeing boxes and boxes of The Desk Apprentice Rotating Desk Organizer stacked along the wall near the store entrance. It was a desk caddy invented by contestants on Donald Trump’s reality show The Apprentice. Today Staples.com is selling the $35 behemoth for $15.
In any case, the red shirt was extremely apologetic, perhaps too apologetic. Mom received several apologies as the red shirt followed her to the exit. Neither my wife nor the red shirt noticed our Little Miss carry the not-purchased Crayon Saver from the store.
Next, my two girls stopped by Michaels Arts and Crafts Store, which is next door to Staples.
They picked up ribbon, a glue stick, color pencils and other supplies. They shared the load and Little Miss pushed her portion of the merchandise up onto the checkout counter, except for the Crayon Saver. Neither my wife nor the cashier noticed Little Miss still holding the Crayon Saver as she left the store.
Back at the car, it was time for a potty break inside the car trunk using our travel potty seat. Again, my wife did not notice her daughter holding the Crayon Saver.
OK, stop a minute. This oversight is too outrageous for me to accept, unless the Crayon Saver was put aside while potty business was conducted.
Then, at last, with her daughter in the car seat, strapped in, and with a yogurt cup in my daughter’s hand (it was lunchtime), Mom backed the car out of the parking space.
“Mama, I can’t eat this. I have this thing in my hand.”
Little Miss handed the Crayon Saver forward to Mom.
“Honey, I didn’t buy this,” Mom said with a newfound look of confusion.
My daughter responded, “Staples rhymes with maples!”