Photo: Crowning Baby Wreath

I was transferring photos off my camera and found this gem a bit late. Presented below is the winner of the decorate-a-wreath contest at my wife’s place of work. She is a labor and delivery nurse.

The wreath was assembled using "office supplies." It is designed to resemble the hospital birth center’s logo, a flower with three white petals with purplish-blue accents. Of course, the official logo does not feature a baby crowning from the flower.

Photo of the birth center wreath described on this page. Click to view an uncaptioned larger version.Here are the wreath’s components:

  • Three urine collection "hats" comprise the base, connected with zip ties. These hats are normally placed inside a toilet to collect and measure a patient’s pee.
  • Chux pads (30" x 30" aqua-colored mattress pads which absorb liquid beneath a patient’s waist area).
  • Multi-colored tissue paper (used as a background for hospital baby photos).
  • Three baby hats, plus one knit baby hat made by a hospital volunteer (freebies for new parents).
  • Green pipe cleaners (brought from home to simulate the flower’s stamen).
  • A plastic baby head (from a doll used in a childbirth education class).
  • Baby diapers cushioning the head.

This is actually the second edition of the wreath. The baby head on the first wreath kept falling halfway off, dangling from a piece of tape. Quite eerie. Plus, some coworkers decided that perhaps the baby shouldn’t be surrounded by Maxi pads. My wife made a special visit to the hospital to re-engineer the wreath, this time using baby diapers. My daughter helped glue and tape it all together.

My wife insists that I note the baby’s head is in occiput posterior position, a painful way to give birth… precisely how our daughter was born. This position was the only one that worked well to keep the head attached with zip ties.

One coworker was disgusted. Staff members from around the hospital stopped by to see the wreath. Visitors found it to be a point of bewilderment and intrigue as an art piece until they realized it was a wreath. In any case, the wreath won first place.

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