Three Unusual Baby and Toddler Products

1. Marketing photo of the LITAF High Leg chair heightener. High Leg by LITAF is a leg extender for a chair so that “your child can sit at the dining table—just like you.” Translation: Being small in a big person’s world can give you an inferiority complex. If you cannot eat eye-to-eye across a dinner table, you’re half as good as those with whom you rub elbows. All you short parents reading this know what I mean.

The HISITA is a similar chair booster, but for my money, the Fisher-Price Healthy Care Booster Seat is the way to go. At 2.5 years, we’re still using it.

Marketing photo of the Nursing Bracelet2. The Nursing Bracelet by Unique Mums tackles the vexing problem of nursing mothers who cannot remember when they last fed their baby or which breast they used. It acts as a nursing log. You move a tab between numbers on the bracelet to denote the time. You alternate which wrist the bracelet is worn on to indicate which boob is empty.

My wife’s reaction: “My left boob is hard as a rock and leaking, but maybe I should check my nursing log.” (It helps if you can hear the tone in her voice.)

My reaction: “If you can’t remember when you last nursed your baby, I’d like to sell you a Thingamababy Baby Clapper. Snap it around your infant’s ankle, then when you lose your kid, clap twice to activate a beacon alarm.”

Marketing photo of the Clever Coverz bed sheet system.

Clever Coverz is an “all-in-one sleep system” for a twin mattress. It’s a sleep situation that may not be so far off for your child. My daughter began sleeping on a twin mattress at 8 months.

Clever Coverz is a mattress cover and quilt in one unit. Slip it over the corners of the mattress, unzip the side, let your kid slide inside, then zip up.  Basically, it’s a bed-sized sleeping bag. On laundry day, toss the whole thing in the washer.

I oppose this product because it is produced by The Ninja Corporation. If that’s not a warning sign, I don’t know what is. Zippering up your child in bed prevents a quick exit when ninjas attack. The  ninja apocalypse is real, people. It’s coming, so be prepared.


Feel free to post a comment telling me that the bracelet saved your baby and breasts, that your toddler is more confident and intelligent being perched high at the dinner table and that the ninja code of ethics prevents ninjas from attacking sleeping children. The first two points are fine, but please remember we’re talking about corporate ninjas.
Think long and hard about that, please.

See also: Three Unusual Baby and Toddler Products:

  • Volume 1: High Leg chair extender, nursing bracelet, Clever Coverz.
  • Volume 2: PlatePal, Mama Snot Pluck, Tubsider parent seat.
  • Volume 3: The Zoo animal storage, Sneeze Sleeve, The Potty Song.
  • Volume 4: Yellow pages booster seat, My First Zamboni, Solar System Travel Bag.
  • Volume 5 Japanese edition: shampoo hat, nursing bottle scissors, Pooh bedpan.
  • Volume 6: Doll playground, baby cologne, foam receiving blanket.
  • Volume 7: Horse chariot, leather-like baby gear, Babywunder Deluxe.
  • Volume 8: Fropper, safety tattoos, Snow Bear sled.
  • Volume 9: Birthday Suit Bear, Wooden Train Chandelier, Pink Lego Bucket.

Comments

8 Responses to “Three Unusual Baby and Toddler Products”

  1. Beckie Tetrault says:

    “The ninja apocalypse is real, people”

    This is why I co-sleep! I don’t even have to go to another room to get my sleeping children to save them from unethical corporate ninja attacks!!

    December 3rd, 2006 at 8:06 pm

  2. Rhonda says:

    Re: the nursing bracelet. I don’t know how functional this particular one is, but I would consider something like this for my next child. Much to my surprise and disappointment, nursing didn’t come as easily or as natural for me as it appears to be for some mothers. I had to write down times and which breast for quite some time-mostly due, I believe, to being a new mom and living on not much sleep. While I realize your comments are all in good fun (I hope), and while I think its great a dad is reviewing products, it will be an extremely cold day in July at high noon in the southern United States before any woman should accept such ridicule from a man about breastfeeding.

    December 17th, 2006 at 10:19 am

  3. AJ says:

    Rhonda, thanks for your comments. I’m not sure how much my being a dad has to do with my critique because my wife shares my sentiments (I even quoted her above). I dare say my wife was as sleep-deprived as any other new mom, maybe more than most because she suffered postpartum depression, which magnifies new parent stresses 10-fold. If you can’t recall the time of the last feeding, OK, but (I’m told) women have a very real reminder, in terms of pressure and pain (or lack thereof) whether a breast is full. In fact, mothers sometime breastfeed ahead of schedule to relieve said pressure.

    But as with every product I have parodied, there are consumers who genuinely want or need these products. Some mother must have invented the bracelet, so I accept there are mothers who will value it. You’re free to say, “Haha, very funny, but I’m buying one.” If my critique-for-yucks helped you find a useful-for-you product, then I’m happy.

    December 17th, 2006 at 10:42 am

  4. Rhonda says:

    Thanks for your reply, AJ. I am a person who can see humor in almost anything, but this one simply hit close to home for many reasons I won’t go in to; again, the tone being one of ridicule. It was just a bit of a shocker to read such a comment on what otherwise appears to be a parent-friendly website., Obviously, you can’t and won’t make everyone happy with your critiques. Nor should you try. I did notice your wife shares your sentiments about the bracelet, however you are listed as the author of the blog. Perhaps just a tiny bit of tact next time might be in order, but it is your website. My heart sincerely goes out to you both for having gone through a difficult birth/post birth experience. I hope neither one of you ever has to read a comment ridiculing women who have suffered postpartum depression.

    December 17th, 2006 at 8:24 pm

  5. AJ says:

    Rhonda, I apologize for the ruffled feathers. You’ve made me think about the issue in greater detail, from a different perspective. Thank you. I accept now that new mothers can be pulled in so many directions that they need to physically track their nursing to aid their memory.

    But a lingering thought nags at me, that the product still has a degree of absurdity. Here’s why. The idea of a tracking bracelet is the least obvious solution. Isn’t it easier and less expensive to track feedings using an ordinary pen and paper log? Use a small booklet that fits in your back pocket. It’s simpler than adjusting beads at every feeding — and leaves no question because you might doubt yourself as to whether you remembered to adjust the beads at the last feeding.

    More importantly, with a paper log you could take notes about the feedings. For example, if the baby seems to be feeding too little or too much, you could log the number of minutes of each feeding and make other notes, then consult a lactation consultant, pediatrician, etc. I guarantee that a doctor would appreciate seeing a comprehensive written record of events. You might also note special moments and thoughts about your baby, things you would cherish recalling years later.

    December 17th, 2006 at 8:59 pm

  6. Rhonda says:

    That’s a good point about the bracelet..maybe not remembering to adjust the beads. Actually, my husband and I do have an extremely comprehensive notebook/record of our baby’s first feedings for while, and we did use it to make other notes. Taking notes on feedings is something some baby books even suggest for awhile. Sometimes, though, the booklet was left upstairs when I was downstairs, etc., and the bracelet might have been helpful when I wasn’t at home and didn’t want to take the notes with me. It seems like it would be easier for me to wear something on my body that I would just keep on all the time for awhile. But then again, if we have another child, maybe I’ll be better at it the second time around.

    December 18th, 2006 at 5:16 am

  7. Stephanie says:

    Just started surfing around, nice blog. But I have to say I did purchase one of those nursing bracelets and it worked out really well because being as tired as I was I kept forgetting when I fed my daughter last. Unlike your wife my supply was never that great so being able to determine which side is first wasn’t as obvious.
    Still not a fan of the product I just heard about a new product for parents while in the car. Whenever your car stops it plays music to remind you that your baby is in the car. It’s a way to avoid the “Oops I forgot the kid was in th car moment.” Hasn’t happened to me but if you can forget about a baby in the car, wouldn’t you also be able to just tune out the music.
    Great blog.

    April 16th, 2008 at 1:18 pm

  8. Denae says:

    The pirates protect my child from the ninjas. No really what if there is a fire or something?

    May 22nd, 2008 at 8:55 pm

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