Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
Little Tumblers Table Topper: A Coffee Table Bumper
The Little Tumblers Table Topper is a safety bumper for your coffee table to protect your child’s runaway noggin. Unlike common tabletop wrappers, this product covers the entire top surface of the table. The big idea is that the product protects not just against toddler injuries, but also surface scratches and spilled milk. I can buy scratch protection, but who lets a toddler run a round their house with an open-mouthed drinking glass? Try spittle. That’s more plausible. No one likes drool stains on their table.
The topper is made of padded fabric, is offered in eight colors and is machine washable. It’s sold in three sizes and can be custom ordered if you supply your table dimensions. A custom job will cost $85 to $99, but the customer photo gallery shows how nice these things look. The maximum size is 50 inches by 8 yards (I inquired whether a topper could be made for a dinner table, not that it wouldn’t be very odd to eat on top of). They appear so comfortable that I’m surprised toddlers don’t start climbing on the padded surfaces.
When our Little Miss began running around, we rearranged furniture to clear it from the highway she was paving through our house. Our two dinner tables (only one is used for dining) were moved to room corners with nothing appealing nearby. A computer desk, entertainment center and shelving were also moved away from doorways and corners.
Our two coffee tables stuck out like sore thumbs in our living and family room. So we sold one and put a generic tabletop wrapper around the other. But that table was still a collision risk, so I eventually stuck it in storage.
Here I am now, more than a year later, and I simply do not miss having a coffee table. What’s it good for? When guests visit they rarely use it for coffee, and who would want to when you have to lean up off a chair or couch and down again to reach this all-too-low table? And then to place your cup down you have to brush away old magazines and odd items you stuck there because it was easier to make the table a dumping ground than to truly clean your house. Oops, maybe I’ve revealed too much.
You might convince me that end tables deserve to exist, but having a baby taught me that coffee tables have no place in civil society.
But if you’re an untamed savage who can’t part with your coffee table, wow, OK. This Little Tumblers Table Topper looks so lush I’d like to try one, just to put it on my coffee table and see if the table can double as a sleeping cot.
See related: Pudding caps then and now
[link via About.com Parenting: Babies and Toddlers]