As for abusers being family friends, I understand, but that doesn’t negate the importance of a registry. Someone who molests a child is dangerous. Suppose I told a molester to his face, “I don’t want you anywhere near my child.” What possible excuse could he give me? “Oh, you are overreacting, I only molested my granddaughter. I would never molest a neighbor’s child.” Huh? Any parent would be insane to take that gamble.

An “innocent” molester might be an 18-year-old senior in high school having sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend. They are the rare exception to the rule.

1) the vast majority – the vast, vast majority – of children who are sexually abused are abused by someone who a) the child or family knows well (often a family member) and who b) is not on any registry of any kind.

2) people can end up on sex offender registries for all kinds of reasons that have nothing at all to do with your kids – or anyone elses. I have personally known four people in my life who have ended up on such a registry – one was 20 and had sex with his 16 year old girlfriend; two were an adult couple who had sex in a local park at night; one was a woman neighbor who liked to sunbathe nude in her backyard.

(Lewd or lascivious acts with child under 14 years. could mean that she molested a child. It could also mean that she was simply nude in the presence of a child. If you know her name, check old newspapers or the police to find out what exactly her crime was. You might end up being surprised.)

Having your child never leave your side is not the answer to preventing your child from ever being sexually abused. Educating your child about how to avoid danger — danger from both strangers and people known to your child — is the key.

I ran the whole photo registry for Merced. Most of them would be unrecognizable if I passed them on the street. They’re mug shots. A high percentage (such as my former neighbor) have failed to reregister which makes the information useless. They could be anywhere.

So, what we have in many cases is garbage in, garbage out. Somehow, we need to monitor these people more closely.

Meantime I worry far more about the ones who haven’t been caught.

They are everywhere. In many cases, they’re also relatives. So hopefully no one blindly assumes, like my mother did, that you only have to worry about strangers.