Friday, June 30th, 2006
Revisited: Child Immobilization Devices
Take a look at this photo. What is it?
Disclaimer: If your child endured a device like this and you found the experience to be emotionally tormenting, please take my comments with a grain of salt. For parents who have only known health and happiness, devices such as the one above look very, very weird.
So what is this contraption?
- A hands-free potty training seat.
- A no-mess feeding chair ensuring proper gastronomic posture as Mom spoon feeds her child.
- An electric chair for condemned toddlers.
- A torture rack for tickling under arms (feathers sold separately).
- A device that ensures toddlers sit still while X-ray images are captured.
Yep, it is the medical Pediatric Positioning Chair by Clear Image Devices. Here’s hoping your child never has to sit in this chair because it means he’s in the hospital for some serious treatment.
Be sure to check out my previous Child Immobilizer Showcase which examined some baby-in-tube devices for taking X-ray images.
The Pediatric Positioning Chair dangles a stuffed animal from a stick overhanging the chair. One retailer even shows a whole toy mobile being hung in front of the child. It’s sort of like dangling a carrot before a horse. Hook up some tricycle pedals and a power generator for these kids and maybe we could solve the world’s energy problems.
Footnote: I learned about this chair from a third-party sales representative who e-mailed to alert me about this new product. Ummm, any publicity is good publicity?