Thursday, May 25th, 2006
SleepTight Infant Soother
Finally, parents can fight infant colic while staying true to their gasoline-conserving sensibilities. The SleepTight Infant Soother attaches to your crib to simulate the vibration and sound of a moving car.
Not only is it a substitute for driving your colicky baby around town, it simulates the sound of a vehicle moving at the optimum gas-friendly speed of 55 m.p.h. Either way you look at it, colicky babies are our last, best hope for fighting terrorism.
Here’s how it works. A vibration unit attaches underneath a spring or wooden bottomed crib. A sound unit attaches to a side railing with Velcro, generating white noise similar to the sound of wind heard from a moving vehicle. Sound requires two 9-volt batteries while the vibration unit is corded.
What is white noise? The next time you’re in a library, listen. Most libraries use white noise machines to create a low level difficult-to-notice background noise which helps mask all other sounds in a room. White noise can also make you drowsy, which is why libraries are such dull places.
The Soother is intended for cases of infant colicâ€”a medical condition in which an otherwise happy baby inconsolably cries for sustained periods.
Little Miss never had colic, but for her first few months at bedtime we did play a CD containing the sound of ocean surf. We wanted rhythmic background noiseâ€”just like that of driving a carâ€”to ease her to sleep.
I didn’t find documentation on whether the Soother has a volume control. It would be nice if, after your baby is cured of colic, your daily rides could get shorter and slower. You know, turn the volume knob down to 35 m.p.h. for a drive along Main Street, then to a 25 m.p.h. school zone, and then maybe 5 m.p.h. to simulate hunting for a parking space.