Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
Red E Bag for Expecting Moms with Morning Sickness
What mother-to-be wouldn’t enjoy toting this stylish handbag around town and puking into it? That’s right, the Red E Bag by As We Grow LLC is your personal, portable emesis basin. (It’s a blessing and a curse to be married to a nurse.)
In compact form, this tri-fold bag is 4.5 x 7.5 x 2″. It expands from 4.5 to 8.5 inches in length to “hold well over 1/2 gallon of fluid.”
The human stomach can retain between 1 and 4 liters, which translates to .26 to 1.1 gallons. So if you are petite or had your stomach stapled, this plucky bag leaves you ready to spritz grits at least twice while fully engorged. However, if you are bariatric and just left a Saltine-eating-contest, you’ll blow half that salty bilge all over your new Prada pumps. If you eat in moderation, you’ll be just fine.
OK, but how does this handbag secure your deposits? It is made of nylon and vinyl, with a plastic liner. The piÃ¨ce de rÃ©sistance is that the bag liner is black opaque with drawstrings. You can discharge your lunch, pull the drawstring and safely deposit your sundries in a nearby trash canâ€”without anyone being the wiser, except of course for everyone who saw you wretch into your purse in the first place.
The handbag has a zippered pocket which can carry an “individual sized packet of tissue, wipes and mints” to freshen up afterward. It’s positively Elizabethan.