Red E Bag for Expecting Moms with Morning Sickness

What mother-to-be wouldn’t enjoy toting this stylish handbag around town and puking into it? That’s right, the Red E Bag by As We Grow LLC is your personal, portable emesis basin. (It’s a blessing and a curse to be married to a nurse.)

Marketing photo of a woman sitting in a car puking into her Red E Bag, with a thumbnail photo of the condensed Red E Bag at lower leftIn compact form, this tri-fold bag is 4.5 x 7.5 x 2″. It expands from 4.5 to 8.5 inches in length to “hold well over 1/2 gallon of fluid.”

The human stomach can retain between 1 and 4 liters, which translates to .26 to 1.1 gallons. So if you are petite or had your stomach stapled, this plucky bag leaves you ready to spritz grits at least twice while fully engorged. However, if you are bariatric and just left a Saltine-eating-contest, you’ll blow half that salty bilge all over your new Prada pumps. If you eat in moderation, you’ll be just fine.

OK, but how does this handbag secure your deposits? It is made of nylon and vinyl, with a plastic liner. The pièce de résistance is that the bag liner is black opaque with drawstrings. You can discharge your lunch, pull the drawstring and safely deposit your sundries in a nearby trash can—without anyone being the wiser, except of course for everyone who saw you wretch into your purse in the first place.

The handbag has a zippered pocket which can carry an “individual sized packet of tissue, wipes and mints” to freshen up afterward. It’s positively Elizabethan.

Comments

2 Responses to “Red E Bag for Expecting Moms with Morning Sickness”

  1. AJ says:

    If guys were subject to morning sickness, we would just carry a plastic grocery bag in our pocket. In my childhood, my brother resolved car sickness by keeping a metal Folgers coffee can (with plastic lid) in our car. He called it his vomitorium.

    May 10th, 2006 at 9:04 am

  2. Mom101 says:

    This is absolutely hilarious. The idea of being able to get it together enough to find the thing, open it up, position your mouth over it properly and then expel contents of stomach in time? Not gonna happen.

    May 17th, 2006 at 11:58 pm