Comments on: Is Praising Children Bad? http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2006/05/is_praising_chi.html A dad's eye view of baby and toddler stuff Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:59:29 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Christine http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2006/05/is_praising_chi.html/comment-page-1#comment-5758 Christine Tue, 06 Jun 2006 18:24:24 +0000 http://s54748.gridserver.com/baby/2006/05/is-praising-children-bad.html#comment-5758 <p>I really like your toy sharing example, because it's not teaching to be motivated purely by our own wants/desires so much as teaching to be motivated by a general good outcome - it's better for a kid to learn "you should share your toys because it makes your friend happy" than to learn "you must share your toys because your parents say so", IMO. Thanks for the interesting read.</p> I really like your toy sharing example, because it’s not teaching to be motivated purely by our own wants/desires so much as teaching to be motivated by a general good outcome – it’s better for a kid to learn “you should share your toys because it makes your friend happy” than to learn “you must share your toys because your parents say so”, IMO. Thanks for the interesting read.

]]> By: mdonner http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2006/05/is_praising_chi.html/comment-page-1#comment-5757 mdonner Sat, 03 Jun 2006 01:37:27 +0000 http://s54748.gridserver.com/baby/2006/05/is-praising-children-bad.html#comment-5757 <p>I agree with alot of the article. I notice how many times my 2 year old tells ME that she did something right. She is so proud of being a 'good girl' and very rarely needs me to tell her so. She is definitely realizing good behavior versus bad behavior without me doing anything but pointing it out to her. </p> I agree with alot of the article. I notice how many times my 2 year old tells ME that she did something right. She is so proud of being a ‘good girl’ and very rarely needs me to tell her so. She is definitely realizing good behavior versus bad behavior without me doing anything but pointing it out to her.

]]> By: thordora http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2006/05/is_praising_chi.html/comment-page-1#comment-5756 thordora Sat, 27 May 2006 15:46:39 +0000 http://s54748.gridserver.com/baby/2006/05/is-praising-children-bad.html#comment-5756 <p>We're human. I like to have my boss said "good work" now an again, because otherwise, I'm a bitter wench who screws the pooch.</p> <p>We try to balance it. If Vivian does something we asked, we merely say 'Thank you for doing X". Not good job. She met my expectation-why should I jump up and down over it. She's got to learn to clean up after herself because it's part of life, not an option to feel good about. Whereas the other day, when she actually read something, despite barely being able to read, she got a "Wow,good job!" Because it was, and I was impressed.</p> <p>We are all motivated by something in life, and I don't necessarily agree with raising children to be motivated soley by their own pleasures/wants/desires. Sometimes you do things to make others happy, or because you have to, and we're rearing ours with an eye to that. But the "good jobs" aren't exactly frequent, just because we prefer to only say it when it's meaningful. </p> <p>I think the article is good to start a dialogue, and get people to step back from their parenting methods to see if it's working, but otherwise, it's a bit creepy to me.</p> We’re human. I like to have my boss said “good work” now an again, because otherwise, I’m a bitter wench who screws the pooch.

We try to balance it. If Vivian does something we asked, we merely say ‘Thank you for doing X”. Not good job. She met my expectation-why should I jump up and down over it. She’s got to learn to clean up after herself because it’s part of life, not an option to feel good about. Whereas the other day, when she actually read something, despite barely being able to read, she got a “Wow,good job!” Because it was, and I was impressed.

We are all motivated by something in life, and I don’t necessarily agree with raising children to be motivated soley by their own pleasures/wants/desires. Sometimes you do things to make others happy, or because you have to, and we’re rearing ours with an eye to that. But the “good jobs” aren’t exactly frequent, just because we prefer to only say it when it’s meaningful.

I think the article is good to start a dialogue, and get people to step back from their parenting methods to see if it’s working, but otherwise, it’s a bit creepy to me.

]]> By: kelly jeanie http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2006/05/is_praising_chi.html/comment-page-1#comment-5755 kelly jeanie Fri, 26 May 2006 18:52:05 +0000 http://s54748.gridserver.com/baby/2006/05/is-praising-children-bad.html#comment-5755 <p>I stumbled across that article a month or two ago and we've been catching ourselves from saying "Good job!" as well. It just seems to make sense. Like you said, we don't want him to do things just to make us happy. Plus, it'll probably help his vocabulary. :) Our toddler is still too young (14 months) to tell if it will make/has made any difference, but I will be interested to see what others with older kids see. AJ, let us know how this goes with Little Miss.</p> I stumbled across that article a month or two ago and we’ve been catching ourselves from saying “Good job!” as well. It just seems to make sense. Like you said, we don’t want him to do things just to make us happy. Plus, it’ll probably help his vocabulary. :) Our toddler is still too young (14 months) to tell if it will make/has made any difference, but I will be interested to see what others with older kids see. AJ, let us know how this goes with Little Miss.

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