Thursday, April 6th, 2006
Storkapalooza: Lawn-based Stork-enabled Baby Announcement Roundup
No one told me when Little Miss was born that the proper way to celebrate was with lawn ornaments. Not just any lawn ornaments, either. Eight-foot-tall painted wooden storks…. delivered to your door and rented for upwards of $60 to $90 a week. Vital statistics are painted on a wooden sack the stork carries, eventually becoming a keepsake.
I visited about 30 stork rental web sites and noticed they had similar signs. It seems franchises are built around the lawn sign idea. Stork signs are turnkey businesses. Just buy the signs and then rent them out. Near as I can figure, three stork franchisers rule America’s lawns.
Stork News of America — Home of the 8 foot stork (seen in photo above).
The Stork Lady — Offering patriotic storks, baby carriages, moons, and sail boats, too.
StorkDelivery.com — They have the snazziest looking stork, plus big-headed babies.
Each of the above franchisers has a directory for finding a local stork renter. I was surprised to find a renter in my hometown, even though I’ve never seen a local stork planted.
Don’t miss the Flamingoed Lawn Greetings Directory, a nonpartisan guide to lawn decoration renters.
Two words of caution…
First, when your sign gets vandalized or stolen, some vendors don’t hold you financially responsible, while others do. Most stork web sites I visited did not disclose their liability policy.
Second, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has this warning for new parents:
“The use of outdoor announcements such as signs, balloons, large floral wreaths, and other lawn ornaments are not recommended to announce a birth because they call attention to the presence of a new infant in the home.”
And on that note, birth announcements in a newspaper also require precautions. We simply asked our hospital not to release our information.