Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
Ten 21 month milestones
1. Farts at will. During potty training, Little Miss would fart on the throne and appear ashamed. So I began blowing into my arm for comedic effect and laughing at the fake fart. (The first, time she jumped off the potty and shouted “Papa!” with an I-can’t-believe-you-farted-that-loud open mouth grin on her face.) Within the last week she has begun blowing into her closed fist to create a fart, and laughing at her toots.
2. Finds Waldo, instantly. Well, not Waldo. My keys. Or my hat. Or anything I’m looking for in the house. She remembers the location and fetches the item, or can glance around the room and immediately pinpoint the sought object. She is going to dominate the field during her first community Easter egg hunt.
3. Plays soccer. Kind of. We kick a beach ball back and forth in the living room. Yes Aunt J and Uncle S, that beach ball. No, we haven’t actually taken it to the beach yet.
4. Pretends to be Hoover Dam. She holds her pee for hours and then the flood gates open. A diaper which normally lasts 4 or more hours will leak during a 90 minute nap, unless we double-up the inserted padding. Looks like we need to double-time her potty training.
5. Throws like a boy. OK, OK, she throws objects like a baseball pitcher rather than a softball pitcher. Last night we sat in a Round Table Pizza booth for 20 minutes waiting for our take-out order. For five minutes, we scribbled crayons on a coloring sheet provided by the restaurant. For 15 minutes, we threw the crumpled up paper like a ball back and forth across the table. The way she flings her arm you’d think you are about to be pelted (Mom did almost scratch her eye from a fly ball), but most of the throws land a little short.
6. Looks at the world with bigoted eyes. Miss used to love everyone. Now she hates tall people. She clams up with a cold stare when strange, but friendly adults talk to her. At the same time, she has unconditional love for anyone under three feet tall. She also loves all animals great and small.
7. Demonstrates blind arrogance. Little Miss knows with unwavering certainty which clothes she wants to wear, disregarding persuasion contrary to her wishes. Then she puts her clothes on backwards, or gets stuck in the middle and says “help” in a most sorrowful manner.
8. Knows everything and nothing. Toddlers understand many more words than they can speak. When talking to Little Miss I assume she knows everything, and rephrase my speech (questions) when she’s confused. Miss doesn’t say too many sentence fragments yet, but can still convey a lot of information. Other times, you can ask her a million questions and have her respond “yes” to each one, even when she doesn’t know what the hell you’re talking about. But she always knows when she should really say “no.”
- “Would you like some yogurt?”
- “Would you like some grapes?”
- “Would you like some mango slices?”
- “Would you like lobster thermidor la crevette with a mornay sauce served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam?”
- “Would you like to take a nap?”
“No! No! No! No! No!”
9. Identifies her favorite music by name. She says “Row, row, row” when she wants to go gently down the stream during dinner. Mom has taught her to row wildly during the song. And yes, we eat with music in the background. Secondly, she says “Doh, doh, doh” when she wants to hear, well, basically the whole Cajun for Kids CD. She loves every song by Papillion.
10. Identifies two friends by name. Melina is “Neena.” Mathias is “Fah.” Daily life takes on a new dimension when your kid can tell you what she wants to do or who she wants to do it with. For the time being, it’s delightful.