Thingamababy’s Ugly Baby Photo Contest 2006

Update: The 2006 contest is done. View the contest photo gallery!

Original Post: Was your child rejected by Regis? Thousands competed in the Live with Regis and Kelly’s Beautiful Baby Search, and for what? To be called beautiful? Every baby is beautiful, but very few achieve true moments of ugliness.

Thingamababy is holding an ugly baby/toddler competition. Your child may be naturally ugly or aided by the use of props, attire or circumstance. Crying? Bed hair? Mashed peas on face? Drenched in mud? Fashion emergency? Send your photos!

Photo of an ugly screaming baby with a caption reading Ugly Baby Photo ContesThis contest is NOT affiliated with “Live with Regis and Kelly.”

by March 10, 2006:

  1. A photo of your child (birth to age 5) in JPG format.
  2. Your full name and preferred e-mail address (to be used if you win the grand prize).
  3. Your city & state/province.
  4. The first name of your child.
  5. Your child’s age at the time of the photo.
  6. Optionally, your street mailing address.
  7. Optionally, your personal web site address (if one exists).
  8. Optionally, describe the circumstance depicted in the photo.


I won’t sell your contact information or anything evil like that. Photos published on Thingamababy will include the child’s first name and age, hometown, and a link to the parent’s personal web site (if desired). If provided by the entrant, a description of the circumstances depicted in the photo might also be included (as summarized  by AJ).


Winners of a first, second and third place prize will be selected on, or before, March 24, 2006 (probably sooner) to receive one of three prizes detailed in this linked contest update: a $25 gift certificate to, a plush Tribble, or a plush Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth. (I’m not Daddy Warbucks. This contest is for fun!) The first place winner will choose one of the three prizes. The second place winner will choose one of the two remaining prizes. The third place winner gets the one remaining prize.

Up to 50 losers (selected at Thingamababy’s discretion, and that’s assuming the entries actually hit double digits) who provide their mailing address will be sent one Thingamababy sticker suitable for affixing to a child’s shirt, hat or paper bag to warn members of the public or otherwise embarrass your child. (The linked stickers are draft samples. If you happen to be an artist or graphic designer, e-mail me!)


Photo of an ugly baby with a caption reading: Ugly Baby Photo Contest.E-mail me a photo of your child taken in the last 14 months. For legal reasons, the photo must NOT be the same one you submitted to Regis and Kelly. The photo should be your best attempt at capturing your baby at his or her less-than-best.

Photos submitted must be owned by you and you must have all rights to reproduce and distribute the photo submitted. You grant Thingamababy permission to publish said photo on the Thingamababy web site in perpetuity.

Photos will be judged by AJ, proprietor of Thingamababy, using his own mix of highly selective and prejudicial criteria which may or may not include taping baby photos to a dart board.

This contest is limited to United States citizens residing within the country. If you live outside the U.S. (my one frequent visitor from Malm, Skane, Sweden—this means you!) and… if my government does not forbid your participation in this contest (my government takes baby contests quite seriously, you know), I will do my best to accommodate you, but I’m not making any promises.

Entrants agree to release and hold harmless Thingamababy and its owner from and against any claim liability, damage or expense arising from or relating to participation in this contest and/or acceptance, use or misuse of any prizes.

Translation of the above paragraph: If your kid doesn’t win, tough luck. If you buy a new camera for this contest, you are dumb. If the grand prize winner uses his $25 at to buy a pack of Gillette razors and then cuts himself shaving, I will laugh at you. If you put a Thingamababy sticker on your child and you are subsequently beaten into unconsciousness by a gang of angry, humorless mothers, hey, tell me because that’s just the type of juicy news story I would like to share on Thingamababy for cheap laughs at your expense.


This contest was conceived and is being held “for fun” by AJ, Thingamababy’s proprietor. Any circumstance which arises and makes this contest “not fun” for AJ will, at his discretion, invalidate and end the contest and make him cry. This contest is genuine, but writing a million legalese disclaimers to cover every permutation of reality is very depressing. Hey, let’s all just be nice and play well together.


Let’s blame Regis Philbin for inspiring this contest. Kelly Ripa has three young children. She couldn’t possibly sit on her TV show’s photo judging panel because all mothers know every baby is beautiful. Regis, on the other hand, is a smarmy scamp. His nickname may be “Big Daddy,” but he wouldn’t hesitate to elevate a handful of babies while pushing all others into misery and defeat.

Note: “Live with Regis and Kelly” is a trademark of Buena Vista and Touchstone Television. (I think. If not, clarify for me and I’ll post the correct trademark.) and the Thingamababy Ugly Baby Photo Contest are not associated with Live with Regis and Kelly. Although, Regis, if you’re reading this, you’re welcome to help judge this contest. You know you want to.

Update: Return visitors, see this deadline extension and prize update for recent changes.


9 Responses to “Thingamababy’s Ugly Baby Photo Contest 2006”

  1. Kevin says:

    Count me in, my submission will be put in soon.

    February 16th, 2006 at 7:33 am

  2. Sara Patterson says:

    Picture of my son: Zachary Patterson & he was 5 months at the time. He doesn’t have any teeth so he is trying to “gum” his snacks to death!

    March 1st, 2006 at 8:05 pm

  3. Anonymous says:

    These babies are not ugly at all these babies are adorable. And you people are mean to these little babies. The Bible says all children are beatiful in his sight. All children shall not be called ugly. For they are beatiful all the way through.

    November 2nd, 2006 at 7:51 am

  4. SWEETTOOTH says:

    This babies are not ugly as yall say they are.

    July 2nd, 2007 at 8:31 pm

  5. PRETTY BABIES says:

    I dont know why yall say these babies are ugly they probably look better than some of these grown adults. Maybe yall should look in the mirror before yall talk about some darling babies. The parents should be ashamed of putting their babies on ugly baby contest. kids are pretty at any age. Yall are just plain on mean.

    July 2nd, 2007 at 8:45 pm

  6. i agree says:

    I agree with prettybabies she speaks the truth.

    July 2nd, 2007 at 8:47 pm

  7. jessica says:

    I dont think any babies are ugly they are all so cute and little!!!!

    December 3rd, 2007 at 2:23 pm

  8. Linnie says:

    Uglyness is in the eye of the beholder!!!

    January 8th, 2008 at 6:25 am

  9. l0l hahaha says:

    haha,atleast people with ugly babies face the truth!

    May 7th, 2008 at 5:33 pm