Music Review: Victor Vito

Enter the dark, sinful world of Victor Vito. I gather that Laurie Berkner’s children’s music is considered standard fare for parents in-the-know. It’s not the mind-numbing Barney type of songs (you won’t see me review those here because I’ll never buy them). Bernker sings silly and fun songs that sound good, and the best ones get stuck in your head.

Victor Vito CD cover featuring Laurie Berkner and two cartoon polar bears named Victor and FreddieThe title track of her best CD, Victor Vito, is simply infectious. Everyone who knows Berkner’s music knows that song. Listen to a preview of Victor Vito at Amazon.

"Victor Vito and Freddie Vasco
ate a burrito with Tabasco.
They put it on their rice.
They put it on their beans.
On their rutabagas, and on their collard greens.
Hey Victor! Hey Freddie!
Let’s eat some spaghetti!”

I’d now like to cast some attention on the often overlooked song on track 19, Googleheads. (You know, the sinful part.)

It came to mind when "The Dad To Be" at Webgoonies.com blogged about the "Top 5 ways my baby will be similar to Google.com." First, let me advise The Dad To Be that his moniker is short-sighted unless he has many more births planned for his future. Second, he should begin memorizing Googleheads now.

On a summer day you can find your way
to a little green park where the Googleheads play.
You’ll know they’re there by the clothes they wear,
and their Googlehead eyes, and their Googlehead hair.

The Googleheads blissfully play the days away. Sounds gay, doesn’t it? The Googleheads are totally gay. They dance, sing and play.

gay: adjective. Full of or showing high-spirited merriment.

I wish this song was the theme music to a children’s TV show that featured a purple main character, to jog Pat Robertson into declaring a homophobic crusade. OK, ok, Jerry Falwell was the visionary who identified Tinky Winky was gay, but come on, don’t all religious extremists blur together at some point? They’re all led by God. We can all see that Googleheads are different from us normal folk.

The message of indoctrination is clear:

They’ll ask you to stay,
and dance and sing and play.
And at the end of the day,
"I’m a Googlehead too!"
is what you’ll say.

Could the danger to our children be any more direct? Parents no doubt rock out to Victor Vito’s burrito on track #1 and have switched their brains off by track #19, foolishly ignoring more of this wacko liberal brain washing.

I’m a Googlehead.
I shake my noodlehead.
I’m a googa-googa-googa-googlehead too!

Berkner’s anti-Christian rant is obvious. "Noodleheads" must be a veiled reference to Pastafarians and their Flying Spaghetti Monster (an outrageous theory of Intelligent Design about our universe’s creation).

Hopefully the reverend will jump on this after he’s finished with his Prayer Offensive to have God force more Supreme Court justices into departing and has given up persuading our president to eliminate foreign leaders.

*sigh* I hate it when children’s music drums up thoughts of religious fanaticism and world politics.

And for anyone who is a cynically-impaired skimmer instead of full-text reader, allow me to be clear. I think Pat Robertson is a pinhead and I’d buy a FSM shirt if only it were available in toddler sizes. Laurie Berkner rocks for anyone of any faith (or no faith) and you should buy all of her CDs.

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