Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Photo Essay: Mystery of the Rooftop Toys
While driving Mom and Little Miss to a play date this week, I spotted a residence with a few toddler toys outside… or more accurately… on the roof. When it came time to pick Mom and Miss up, I brought my camera… What exactly is going on here?
Theory Number 1: The residents of this house are body builders and bulk up on vitamins, energy drinks and lots and lots of steroids. Their toddler has obviously been breaking into their stash and now has the strength to toss his toys onto the roof.
Theory 1 Debunked: Most of the toys are positioned upright, as if they were hand-placed and used on the roof. No toddler tosses with that accuracy.
Theory 2: A toddler in a passing jet broke free of his seatbelt, slammed open the emergency door and tossed his toys out.
Theory 2 Debunked: The neighborhood was not littered with corpses and other debris that would have been sucked out of the plane.
Theory 3: The toddler in this home is a giant. He merely climbed onto the roof as easily as other toddlers boost themselves onto a sofa.
Theory 3 Debunked: Notice the yellow cube placed precariously under an overhang next to electrical wires that lead to a nearby power pole. A giant toddler could not have played with the toy under such a low ceiling. Also, there were no obvious depressions where a heavy, giant toddler would have caved in portions of the roof.
Mom’s Theory 1: The stork who delivered the infant grew so attached that he comes by to visit now and then and brings a new toy each time. (Debunked: The stork deposits babies down chimneys and on doorsteps… not rooftops. Plus, the roof is devoid of bird droppings.)
Mom’s Theory 2: This was Santa’s final delivery of the evening and by that time he was just lazy. (Debunked: That sounds plausible, but the toys do not exhibit eight months of outdoor wear, nor are they wrapped.)
I’m at a loss to explain the situation. Have any ideas?