Friday, September 16th, 2005
Child Immobilizer Showcase
I was googling around when a text ad for the Pigg-O-Stat Pediatric Immobilizer and Positioner caught my eye. Oh look, a baby in a big plastic tube. It’s Gluttonous Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It’s… It’s the thing that should not be. It can’t be real, can it?
The Pigg-O-Stat is actually for immobilizing infants for radiographic and other medical examinations. It makes your kid sit still for X-ray photos. The device looks bizarre, but keeping kids still during exams is serious business.
Pedia Graph Immobilizer is a similar child-in-a-tube restraint device. The tube sits on a table so the child can be wheeled into different positions for the X-ray photos.
Kids are no doubt traumatized by
the hospital experience and the prospect of being stuffed into a tube by a
stranger. Couldn’t the manufacturer mask this contraption to look like one of Winnie the Pooh’s honey pots? Or do something else, anything else, to make the device appear less scary? Well, as it turns out, I was informed (after writing this article), that a better X-ray is obtained if the child is screaming.
So, to recap, your child is screaming in confusion, you are crying at the sight of your child’s torment, and the X-ray technician is thinking, “Got it! That one’s a keeper!”
Here are a few other immobilizers…
Circumstraint Board — This looks like the device Captain Kirk gets tied to when the androids clone him. It’s actually an immobilizing board for little boys who are about to have their manhood mutilated. If that little quip bothers you, please check out the other circumcision devices on this page because, you know, circumcision isn’t a trifle decision. [/end rant]
Hug ‘n’ Hold — Finally an immobilization product that won’t ruin your appetite. (You eat at your computer, right?) This is a hook and loop Velcro vest that acts like a 4-point harness. You secure the vest with straps around your changing table to make utterly sure the baby isn’t going anywhere.
Update: Also see Thingamababy’s Revisited: Child Immobilization Devices.
Update #2: Comments on this article are closed. If company representatives are going to argue over their products, posting comments under varying names, be smart enough to not submit your comments from the same IP address. The pertinent user comments have been removed.
Thingamababy is a parent blog! If you want to discuss the benefits of your product, send me a sample of your product for review (if you think me publishing a photo of my screaming daughter being strapped into a restraint device in my living room will help market your product). If you feel you must say something, send me an e-mail using the link at upper right.