Thursday, August 18th, 2005
Ten Things I Didn’t Realize About Raising a Baby
- I would become a frugal toy-crazy hoarder.
- Pregnant women and babies in strollers would jump out at me on the street. I never noticed them before.
- Hand lotion would become part of my daily routine. Cracked skin develops fast with all the hand washing after diaper changes.
- Mass media messages I previously blindly consumed would jade me into raising my kid in a household not oriented around television, video games and movies.
- It’s possible to jam to "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round."
- My vocabulary would become more interesting with substitutions (wiseacre, mutton-head, etc.).
- The heavier the baby gets, the lighter our cats feel.
- I would become very optimistic and simultaneously very worried about the future of the human race.
- Nine o’clock is late night.
- Something that didn’t exist a year ago would become the most important thing in my life.