Halloween Fertility Decor

Stock up now on your spooky fertility supplies. You know, like pregnant mummies.

Plastic mummy head, hands, feet and belly sitting in soilThey gave this parturient goddess the nondescript title of "resin garden mummy 5 piece set," but her moon belly reveals the truth. Your average garden variety mummy doesn’t claw its way out of the ground with its paunch poking through the soil. The photo speaks for itself. There is a mini-mummy in that tummy.

I’m not being a facetious. My wife was the one who pointed out the photo while thumbing through a catalog.

Now, I suppose some wiseacre will point out that Egyptian embalming techniques involved the removal of internal organs, and thus a bulging belly is an impossibility.

Well, smarty, ancient Egyptians needed their bodies in the afterlife, so retaining their physical appearance was important – even a portly appearance. Who’s to say the embalmers didn’t remove the baby, embalm and mummify it, and return it to mom’s belly?

Or maybe the baby was a microscopic fetus at the time of mummification, survived in mom’s nurturing body cavity, and, after Anubis judged the mother’s heart to be lighter than a feather, the baby was brought to full term in the netherworld of Aaru with the good graces of Osiris. (Yeah, I know, if that’s the case, and we’re looking at the mummy today, we must also be in that netherworld. Spooky, eh?)

Or maybe this is an Incan mummy. The Incans chemically treated organs, and returned them to the body. There are all sorts of rational explanations. So, wise guy, shut your yap! That mummy is preggers!

Resin garden mummy 5pc set [terrysvillage.com]

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