Teaching children to shut up

My daughter’s kindergarten class received its H1N1 inoculation yesterday. Parents were invited to attend at the appointed time to help ease any fears. About one-third of the parents showed up and my daughter had no problems whatsoever.

Oh, but things weren’t totally peachy. The parent(s) of at least one student declined the vaccination. A problem arose when this child began telling classmates beforehand that the vaccination would make them sick, that it would hurt them, and boy oh boy, they shouldn’t get vaccinated.

And thus, at least one of the children broke out in tears (we know because we spoke to the parent of the shaken child).

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Dolphin-attended water births

Behold a video clip of a dolphin-attended water birth from Le Premier Cri, a documentary about birthing experiences around the world.

Sadly, I’m a product of the American monolingual education system. I’m unable to efficiently google for dolphin birthing centers located around the world. However, one such center exists in Hawaii and was profiled on the Penn & Teller cable show Bullshit! If you operate a dolphin-attended water birthing business, whoo boy, you should never agree to appear on a show called Bullshit!

Penn & Teller chalk up the subject of their dolphin episode as, “It’s all about people who believe dolphins have super powers.” You can read the counter-argument on the company’s website.

My wife turned me onto the whole dolphin birthing thing when she was researching birthing videos and found the Le Premier Cri film trailer. Unlike the above clip that appears to occur in a controlled pool, the Hawaiian business seems to use “tide pools” and “hot ponds” adjoining the Pacific Ocean.

The following Bullshit! clip succinctly captures the type of person attracted to this phenomenon. Warning: Yes, Bullshit! contains a fair amount of profanity from its hosts.

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Book Review: How Whales Walked into the Sea

The whole world is a family.” –My 5-year-old daughter on the beautiful message she gets from evolution, all of us derived from a common ancestor.

Cover image of the book How Whales Walked Into the Sea.

I previously reviewed Our Family Tree: An Evolution Story, and while it was a good introduction to concepts behind evolution, it’s a bit esoteric for young children.  I was lucky to recently come by How Whales Walked Into the Sea by Faith McNulty and illustrated by Ted Rand (who by the way began illustrating children’s books at age 70).

I know some Thinga-readers don’t believe in evolution; maybe I’ll have something more interesting for you tomorrow.

What’s exciting about this book is that it focuses on a single animal, an unlikely animal. We think of life starting in the oceans and migrating onto land, so it’s fascinating to learn about an animal that reversed course about 50 million years ago. Each page features a large color painting of an ancient ancestor from which whales descended, telling a little about the animal. You see the animals as they progress with slow adaptations over time, the legs getting shorter, the feet broadening, the jaw elongating, the tail widening, and so forth.

The last few pages focus on whales of today, explaining their differences and some of the vestigial structures that remain. For example, the bowhead whale still has tiny leg bones hidden inside its body with no exterior hind legs remaining.

I only wish there was an entire series of books like this one that so keenly explain the concept of small changes over time.

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Winners: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Photo of the Burger King grand prize gift pack.

The grand prize gift pack will be new, not previously played with by a 5-year-old like this one on my couch.

Behold the winners in the Meatball King Giveaway (Burger King and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs Movie). Thank you to all who entered, sharing one of their favorite parenting websites with us.

The winners:

Amy H. from Indianapolis, Indiana — The Burger King gift pack shown at right consists of a huge popcorn container, Burger King movie toys, a hardcover copy of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, a $40 AMC Theatres gift card and a $20 Burger King gift card.

My Boaz Ruth from Del Valle, Texas — My personal AMC Theatres $40 gift card.

Meadow from Salt Lake City, Utah and Sarah from (??)  — My extra personal softcover copies of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Sorry I don’t have hometowns for every winner. I only e-mailed them notifications this morning.

Winners: Hot Peas ‘N Butter

Cover of the CD Hot Peas N Butter 5: Best of the Bowl.

Three Thinga-readers in the Hot Peas ‘N Butter CD Giveaway have each won a copy of Best of the Bowl: Ingles Y Español. It’s the CD my daughter is currently enjoying (read my review).  Thank you to everyone who participated and taught me something about Latin American music.

The winners:

  • Teresa from Sunnyvale, Calif.
  • Francine from Sacramento, Calif.
  • The Blond Ghost from I don’t know where; I’m awaiting her reply.

Halloween recap – How was yours?

Photo of my daughter dressed as a vampire witch, consisting of a black witch's costume, pointy hat, black and red shoulder cape and a purple velvet face mask.

For several of our Halloween activities my daughter dressed as a witch. On Halloween night she decided to combine her witch costume with a bat cape and velvet masquerade mask to become the Vampire Witch Super Hero.

To criminals, she casts the illusion of being a helpless victim. When bad people approach, she bites them, releasing a paralytic agent into their system that immobilizes them until police arrive. At the same time, she drinks some of the criminals’ blood to keep up her health. That’s essentially what she told me in not so many words.

Our Halloween activities included:

1. A theatrical play festival last weekend, an annual tradition for us.

2. A costume parade at the elementary school… several hundred students attempting to dance to The Monster Mash.

3. A city-organized party, oriented toward toddlers who don’t really need all the candy they were being given. But hey, my son won an apple pie.

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Le Premier Cri: An awesome film you’ll never see

Contest updates and other miscellany will be posted this weekend. In the meantime, here’s a trailer for a French documentary, Le Premier Cri — The First Cry.

Title captions:

  • The four corners of the world
  • Follow the fate of extraordinary women
  • Beyond cultures
  • A universal moment
  • Life holds its breath
  • A film by Gilles de Maistre

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Short film on parenting, childhood, old age

Here is a short, subtle Greek film on multiple subjects: What is that?

The film begins 40 seconds in after a lengthy presentation of credits.

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In photos: How you know you picked a good elementary school

Alternate title: From principal to rock star in 30 minutes.

I just want to share some photos, but I’ll say some things you disagree with first. Let’s brush over the three ways parents shouldn’t select elementary schools.

1. Not test scores! Parents decry the mess made by No Child Left Behind… then turn around and meticulously pour over standardized test scores. Hey, unless a school’s scores are absurdly low, don’t sweat it.

2. Not what other parents tell you. Parents love to believe ridiculous rumors and isolated incidents taken out of context.  Case in point, one trusted parent told me something about my daughter’s teacher that isn’t just wrong, it’s demonstrably not true. People love to believe word-of-mouth over evidence they see with their own eyes (assuming they bother to look).

3. Not poor families! This is often done by looking at the percentage of school lunches that are provided with government assistance. Having great personal income doesn’t make you a great parent. If you’ll believe the poor people stereotype, I’ll believe the stereotype of rich parents who send their kids to the “best” schools and absolve themselves of any further responsibility for their child’s education.

What matters

1. You matter. The most important component for your child’s academic success is your involvement. Know your teacher. Assist with homework as a home educator. Read with your child. View your free time as teaching time. Education doesn’t end when the bell rings.

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Refunds: Baby Einstein DVDs

Ta-dah! The whole educational video claim has come to roost. Baby Einstein, aka Walt Disney Company, is offering refunds on Baby Einstein DVDs purchased between June 5, 2004 and September 4, 2009. They’re not defective. They’re just not educational, and according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, you have no business showing them to a child under age 2.

Don’t be confused by Baby Einstein’s refund page titled “DVD Upgrade / Moneyback Guarantee.” Read past the counter-offers for a book, CD or coupon and you’ll see the full-refund offer of $15.99 per DVD.

Read the nitty-gritty details at the New York Times. In short:

The videos — simple productions featuring music, puppets, bright colors, and not many words — became a staple of baby life: According to a 2003 study, a third of all American babies from 6 months to 2 years old had at least one “Baby Einstein” video.

Despite their ubiquity, and the fact that many babies are transfixed by the videos, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time at all for children under 2.

In 2006, Ms. Linn’s group [Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood] went to the Federal Trade Commission to complain about the educational claims made by Disney and another company, Brainy Baby. As a result, the companies dropped the word ‘educational’ from their marketing. But the group didn’t think that was enough.

‘Disney was never held accountable, and parents were never given any compensation. So we shared our information and research with a team of public health lawyers,’ Ms. Linn said.

Last year, lawyers threatened a class-action lawsuit for unfair and deceptive practices unless Disney agreed to refund the full purchase price to all who bought the videos since 2004.

Now, I’m not sure that parents need “compensation.” How do you compensate for wasted educational time, or worse, slowing your child’s development? (According to research, children who watch baby videos have smaller vocabularies).

But, the American justice system is a strange one. In some countries, corporations can actually be dissolved by the government. In America, corporations almost run the government, having a heavy, heavy hand influencing politicians and our laws.

The court system is one of the few ways to, in some small measure, balance out the power equation. In other words, you, John and Jane Q. Nobody, should love the courts because if you ever get wronged, it’s the little recourse for justice you’ll ever have.

And so when companies throw around claims about offering educational products, and those products ultimately can have the opposite effect, hey, hold the companies accountable in whatever manner possible.

I doubt this move will hurt Disney much. Not that many parents will be aware of the refund, nor have much interest. Baby Einstein could sell a DVD labeled “One hour of Babysitting” and it would become a best seller.

My Wondercube: the tissue box baby toy

Photo of the My Wondercube cloth baby toy and a photo of a baby pulling cloth swatches from the cube as the swatches are attached at the corners.

My Wondercube replicates the fun babies and toddlers have pulling tissues from a box and stuffing them back in.

At first I thought, oh how dumb. But no, it’s not as if you’re going to give your baby a real tissue box.  Wonderube is so simple, so brilliant.

The toy consists of a fabric cube with fabric swatches stuffed inside. The cubes comes in three styles — organic cotton jersey, fairtrade organic woven cotton and a wooden cube.  The fabric cubes are machine washable and rated from birth on up. The wooden cube is rated for 2-year-olds (which isn’t so strange, see below).

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A parenting perspective from an American hero

Here’s a viewpoint from Philip Spooner, an 86-year-old father of four, decorated war veteran, VFW chaplain and life-long Republican living in Maine. And yes, he speaks of a parenting issue.

Spooner asks at a pivotal moment, “What do you think I voted for at Omaha Beach?”

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Proud Quotable Moment

Let’s start with a horrific story about a 6-year-old girl having her scalp ripped off by a dog in a neighbor’s yard. Terrible, frightening story yes, but I feel like giving the girl a high-five for the question she asked her father as she was being transported to the hospital. She remained calm. She didn’t cry.

She asked, “Daddy, can you see my brain?”

I love smart kids.

So, here’s my far less interesting, not horrific story. Some time ago, I was typing at my computer when my 5-year-old daughter approached me with an empty tissue box in hand.
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Hipster Bibster for Hipster Babies

Photo and a diagram of the Hipster Bibster, which somewhat resembles an apron without shoulder straps.

From a news release:

“The Hipster Bibster is the perfect solution for any messy baby who hates to wear a regular neck bib. This bib is great for self-feeding babies who drop everything on their chest & lap area. The idea for the bib stemmed out of a mom’s frustration with her daughter constantly ripping off her bib from around her neck and staining her clothes. Instead of having to change her daughter’s clothing after each meal, this mom decided to create a product that would safely protect the lap and chest area during eating.”

The Bibster has elastic straps with Velcro closures that fit around the back of the torso. It’s mom-invented, one-size-fits-all, BPA-free, waterproof and has a Velcro pocket.

Thinga-readers know me too well. I’m not going to say it. You say it. I’m speechless.

An uncomfortable conversation at the K-Mart check-out

This tale begins with the revealing of a deep, dark family secret. Last month, we became one of those families. Or more accurately, my wife is one of those mothers, and I am occasionally one of those fathers, but only with a deep sense of shame because of what I infer other parents think of me. I avoid being one of those fathers whenever possible.

Our 18-month-old son has a leash. Oh, sorry, I mean a tether. Or harness, as if that’s better.

I profiled child tethers four years ago, before they became popular. Back then, if you wanted one, you probably had to order from a website. I was skeptical at the time, leading to the shame I feel today. These days, child tethers go for $1 at garage sales.

The one thing my son doesn’t do in public is listen to his parents, and he loves to run, grab things and throw. It sounds normal for his age, but some of it seems related to the speech communication problems we’ve been having. Curbing repeat bad behavior is our biggest problem. So we carry him in a wrap or stroller whenever possible, but sometimes it’s just not convenient, especially now at 28 lbs.

Contrary to my prejudicial thinking, my son didn’t revolt when he was first leashed up. The harness has a plush teddy bear on its back with a tiny pocket. We began putting on the leash when dropping off, or picking up, our daughter at school. She wears a real backpack, and he wants to be just like her.

Photo of an Eddie Bauer Teddy Bear child harness and a marketing photo showing a child leashed up to his mom as people walk behind the child. Portions of the body parts of the adults, including the mother, are missing from the image.

It's an Eddie Bauer Teddy Bear 2-in-1 Child Harness, apparently discontinued in favor of a Winnie the Pooh version. Someone gets the award for worst Photoshop job on that marketing photo, too.

Some kindergarten, 1st and 2nd graders thought it was a backpack, and a cool one at that. One boy asked with great surprise whether my son was in kindergarten.

And better yet, when tethered up he is happy to be in the proximity of a parent without running wildly around. It’s a bizarre limitation he accepts.

Okay, so, about this K-mart conversation…

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